Sealed Lips is Mashable’s series on pelvic pain, an experience rarely discussed but shockingly common.
No, you do not need a gorilla grip coochie.
This phrase, in case you’re not familiar, means exactly what it sounds like — a tight vagina. Per one Urban Dictionary entry, a gorilla grip is a “tight ass W.A.P. thats so tight…its almost like a gorilla is gripping your dick.” One of the early variations, which was posted in the subreddit BrandNewSentence in 2018, was a Facebook meme post that recommended sprinkling pepper onto a woman’s pillow so that, during intercourse, “her coochie grip you like a gorilla fist.” The first Urban Dictionary entry appeared in March 2020, and the phrase has gained traction in the year since. The tag #gorillagrip has 37.8 million views on TikTok.
the suez canal got that gorilla grip
— a wild annam appeared ☻ (@AnnamLaughs) March 26, 2021
The phrase even inspired “GripTok,” a TikTok trend last summer that encouraged viewers to do kegels to the beat of viral songs. TikTok users would post videos reminding each other to do their daily kegels, and push viewers to keep up with the accelerating tempo. The tag #griptok has 50.2 million views, and though the trend has slowed down since its peak in July 2020, the messaging still prevails online.
The term “gorilla grip” is admittedly funny, as are some of the more absurd trends born from it. But seeking a “tight” vagina is nothing new — society has long associated a woman’s purity and virtue with her genitals. From the unfortunate husband stitch — an extra stitch some providers add when repairing tearing after childbirth to ensure a “tight” fit for sexual partners, often at the cost of the woman’s comfort — to the many high-tech kegel trainers on the market today, being “tight” is just another unattainable standard for people with vaginas.
Dr. Jennifer Lincoln, an obstetrician-gynecologist who makes sex ed videos and debunks misinformation for her 1.8 million TikTok followers, is frustrated with the outdated emphasis on seeking “tight” vaginas.
“Being ‘tight’ is really a placeholder for saying society values young virginal women, and having sex therefore makes you dirty and loose.”
“Being ‘tight’ is really a placeholder for saying society values young virginal women, and having sex therefore makes you dirty and loose,” Dr. Lincoln told Mashable in an email. “All of this nonsense belongs in the garbage.”
Although some people benefit from kegel exercises — especially those who have just given birth, had abdominal surgery, or struggle with incontinence — most other people really don’t. Kegels, which involve clenching and unclenching the pelvic floor muscles to strengthen them, may actually make sex more uncomfortable in some cases because the tightened muscles can involuntarily spasm. A hypertonic pelvic floor — which means the muscles are overly contracted — may lead to painful sex, difficulty emptying the bowels and bladder, and just overall discomfort.
“Think of your pelvis as a bowl of muscles. When they are tight like rubber bands and in a chronic contracted state, that hurts!” Dr. Lincoln told Mashable. “This means trying to insert a tampon or a penis may hurt because the muscles are taut and it feels like hitting a wall. So what do your muscles do when they detect that painful stimuli? They contract more!”
She added that the involuntary contractions can cause “really bad pelvic pain” which may lead to a complete inability to have sex. Dr. Lincoln also noted that a majority of people with vaginas orgasm from clitoral stimulation rather than penetration, and the fixation on being “tight” is rarely for the benefit of the person with the vagina.
“Thinking GripTok will make sex feel better isn’t really an accurate promise,” she said. “So who is this actually for??”
Some TikTok users were in for an unfortunate surprise when, after a summer of doing the kegel exercises encouraged by GripTok videos, they began experiencing pain during sex. Creator Sandy Lin described her encounter in a TikTok posted in October 2020.
“And he was in shock, and I was in shock, and there was…some pain,” she said in the video. “And it’s never happened before. So…be careful ladies.”
In a caption, Lin added that the sex was enjoyable but the “pain is completely new,” and that the pelvic pain is holding her back from the promiscuous autumn she wanted to have.
“PSA to the ladies who were on #griptok — thotum[n] cannot be accomplished due to my new…predicament,” she wrote.
Your vagina does not need to be “toned” or “worked on.” Dr. Lincoln explained that some issues like pelvic floor prolapse or incontinence may warrant a pelvic exercise routine — of which kegels only make up a small part — but those require medical attention and a diagnosis from an actual doctor first. A pelvic floor physical therapist can work with you through several exercises beyond just doing kegels to a catchy beat to address the issues you may be experiencing, without risking a hypertonic pelvic floor.
“My mantra when it comes to the vagina and pelvis is ‘less is more’ — other than the daily exercise we should all strive for to be healthy, your pelvis doesn’t need anything special unless you have a diagnosed problem,” she added. “Oftentimes working with the guidance of a pelvic floor physical therapist can help guide you. Pelvic floor physical therapists are worth their weight in gold!”
To anyone with a vagina: Unless your doctor told you to do them, stop the kegels. You can joke about your gorilla grip coochie but ultimately, you don’t need to take medical advice from TikTok.