Are you ready for some football………. fellow kids?

First teased weeks ago, the Jan. 10 NFL Wild Card game — which is a showdown between the Chicago Bears and the New Orleans Saints — is getting a special broadcast on Nickelodeon. The kid-focused network’s version of the game features celebrity kid commentators, slime-infused first down lines, slime cannons, and of course, Spongebob Squarepants.

It’s adorable. It’s delightful. It’s wholesome. Yeah, the NFL has all sorts of image issues, player issues, health and safety issues, management issues, the works. But this is good. Genuinely good. We Really Needed This levels of good.

Here’s Sandy Cheeks explaining football.

Look at what happens when there’s a touchdown. LOOK AT IT.

Every professional sport needs a Nickelodeon kid explaining the rules. Joe Biden is about to become president, maybe we can make it a law of the land? (Yes, that is indeed Young Sheldon.)

I can’t really overstate how ridiculous and awesome this is: A giant Spongebob appears between the crossbars during field goal attempts. 

OK, to be fair this is pretty nightmare-inducing.

Putting important team relationships in terms that kids can understand. You love to see it.

And of course, during this raging coronavirus pandemic when stadium bleachers are mostly or entirely empty, some of the seats have been filled by your favorite faces from Bikini Bottom.

No words.

You haven’t been dragged as a professional football player until you’ve been dragged by the cast of Spongebob Squarepants.

This game’s highlight reels are really something special. 

In conclusion: Slime. Cannons.

If the NFL doesn’t broadcast its full 2021/2022 season on Nickelodeon, someone will have deeply screwed up.

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