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We’re almost a week into the U.S. President’s big sulky sore loser tantrum, and there’s still no sign he’ll concede the election any time soon. Nearly 80 percent of Americans recognise President-elect Joe Biden as the victor, but the baby-in-chief continues to throw applesauce all over the walls while Republicans wipe his chin and hand him more plastic spoons.

The country is exhausted, fearful, and angry, yet the GOP is stubbornly committed to joining the President in his playpen. National Security Advisor Robert O’Brien reportedly even told his staff not to mention Biden’s name.

“Oh, so the President-elect is He Who Must Not Be Named,” quipped Late Show host Stephen Colbert. “He’s Lord Old-emort!”

Colbert has also made minor adjustments to his speech and profanity filter as of late, though probably not because of an order from on high. But even with these changes, overall it’s the same content: A giant spoilt baby sitting in the Oval Office while his party frantically plays peek-a-boo to calm him down.

“Seems like no-one around the president has the nerve to tell him that he lost,” said Colbert, quoting a Daily Beast source who said “it’s like dealing with a lunatic on the subway. Everyone just kind of…pretends they can’t hear him and waits for him to eventually get off.”

“I’ve got some bad news: Just ’cause the lunatic in the subway gets off, doesn’t mean he’ll leave the train,” said Colbert.

The Late Show host further noted that “despite clinging to the job desperately, he’s not actually doing any of it,” with the latest intelligence briefing on the President’s schedule having occurred in early October.

“He really should take the briefings because I’m sure they’re full of valuable information,” said Colbert. “For instance, he might find out that the United States elected a new president.”

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