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Take a moment to pretend you're rich enough to afford any of these gifts.
Take a moment to pretend you’re rich enough to afford any of these gifts.

Image: neiman marcus

As if Neiman Marcus’s Fantasy Gifts weren’t already tone-deaf in a regular year, they feel especially out of touch in 2020. In a year where so many people have faced financial hardships because of the COVID-19 pandemic, luxury gifts are probably far from the minds of regular folks. But for the billionaires who have gotten richer during the pandemic, Neiman Marcus’s Fantasy Gifts don’t seem too out of reach. 

And that’s who these gifts are for — Neiman Marcus focuses on the nation’s top two percent as its target market. But those of us who can’t afford a $345,000 Alaskan getaway are stuck looking at the fantasy gifts from afar and soaking in the sweet satire of our reality.

Anyway, here are some of the wildest Fantasy Gifts from the Neiman Marcus Christmas Book 2020 to work up your appetite for eating the rich:

Who needs to buy a house when you can spend a week at a fancy resort?

Who needs to buy a house when you can spend a week at a fancy resort?

Image: Neiman Marcus

This year’s Fantasy Gifts are focused on self-care because Neiman Marcus knows how tough 2020 has been. That’s why the retailer is offering a wellness package that costs the same as a nice five-bedroom house in the Midwest. This gift includes a seven-night stay at a Canyon Ranch resort, followed up with three weeklong checkups and monthly virtual consultations. The resort is, of course, all-inclusive. We wouldn’t expect anything less.

What would you do with $95,000? Buy a hat?

What would you do with $95,000? Buy a hat?

Image: Neiman Marcus

I have never in my life even thought about spending $95,000 on a piece of clothing, let alone a hat. (Granted, I am not rich.) But for people who really shell out for their fits, these custom hats are from a collection designed in collaboration with icons like Run-DMC. Don’t worry, for almost $100,000 you get more than just the hat — you also get signature hat boxes and custom display cases. Definitely worth the money.

This collection features six different rings.

This collection features six different rings.

Image: neiman marcus

Just as Michael Scott thought he was supposed to spend three years’ salary on an engagement ring, Neiman Marcus thinks dishing out about that much for a fashion ring is attainable. The Oscar Heyman collection is made up of beautiful one-of-a-kind rings featuring exotic gems. I would never spend that much on jewelry, but if someone else wanted to drop six figures on it for me, I wouldn’t say no.

Look at all that beef.

Look at all that beef.

Image: Neiman Marcus

If you love the environment but also love eating meat — and have $185,000 lying around — this Fantasy Gift has it all. Purchasers of this gift will get a trip to the James Beard Award-winning Perini Ranch Steakhouse in Buffalo Gap Texas, and get to meet the Perini family to learn about renewable energy and sustainable, ethical ranching. Plus, the gift includes a year supply of beef tenderloin. Yum.

What would your game parlor look like?

What would your game parlor look like?

Image: neiman marcus

Take Backgammon, but make it chic. That’s what this gift is all about. Recipients will collaborate with designer Jonathan Adler to create a one-of-a-kind game parlor — if that’s not the bougiest thing you’ve ever heard. The decor and games are all designed to fit the individual’s style, and honestly, if you’re really into games and interior design, this is a cool gift… if you have $145,000.

While the Fantasy Gifts are the eye-catchers of Neiman Marcus’s Christmas Book, there are some more affordable items in the catalog. But remember, the store’s target market is higher income, so take “affordable” with a grain of salt.

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