Because when you work for Donald Trump, preparation is overrated.
As former President Trump’s second impeachment trial charged ahead in the Senate on Tuesday, his lawyer Bruce Castor made all the wrong kinds of waves. In a rambling, and at times incoherent, speech, the former district attorney wowed the world with his seeming commitment to the bit of a flummoxed man suddenly awakened from an Ambien sleepwalk to find himself delivering a lecture in his underwear.
The internet, for once, couldn’t fucking believe it.
this is what happens when you gamble on an edible before the zoom call and lose
— Richie Nakano (@linecook) February 9, 2021
DID HE ACTUALLY JUST LABEL SOME POINTS “A” AND “2”
— Paul F. Tompkins (@PFTompkins) February 9, 2021
I was better than this guy at Mock Trial when I was 16.
— Elie Mystal (@ElieNYC) February 9, 2021
Everyone has taken a class where they didn’t understand the assignment and tried to bullshit their way through the book report.
Bruce Castor is everyone.
— Michael Harriot (@michaelharriot) February 9, 2021
Others compared Castor’s flailing about to another lawyer going viral Tuesday, albeit for the much cuter reason of calling into a Zoom court session with a cat face filter on.
The cat lawyer would be doing a better job here.
— Benjamin Powers (@benjaminopowers) February 9, 2021
However Castor does have one reason to hold his head high. He’s living proof that if you’re a rich, white man, with the right connections you can literally do anything you’re in no way qualified for.
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