YouTuber Uncle Roger went viral last month after reacting to BBC presenter Hersha Patel’s deeply upsetting rendition of egg fried rice — a dish so disturbing it made him put leg down from chair. Now he’s back again, this time offering commentary on Jamie Oliver’s version on the dish. Unfortunately, it seems Oliver is also an advocate for draining rice.
“This video, so many sad thing happening,” despairs Uncle Roger, speaking on behalf of Asians everywhere. “I don’t know if Uncle Roger can go on. This depression is too much.”
You’d think that, considering Oliver is a world-renowned celebrity chef, things might have gone a bit better than they did with Patel. They did not. The 10-minute video is a fiasco from start to finish, from Oliver’s choice of pan, to oil, to his deeply cursed inclusion of a blob of chilli jam. It’s absolutely wild.
“Is this how you trick white people to eating chilli?” asks an increasingly distressed Uncle Roger, played by Malaysian comedian Nigel Ng. “What are you going to put in there next — peanut butter?”
That isn’t even mentioning the inexplicable amount of water Oliver adds to the pan halfway through cooking, which is something I have never seen happen before and hope to never see again. I’m no chef, but if I did that my parents, extended family, and all of their friends would mock me until the end of time. I would deserve it, too.
“Uncle Roger say if your rice too wet you fucked up,” says Uncle Roger. “But if your rice too dry, you also fucked up.”