Who will be this [TV] season's INCOMPARABLE??

Who will be this [TV] season’s INCOMPARABLE??

Image: NICK BRIGGS / NETFLIX

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There is no shame in having binged all of the delicious Bridgerton in a day, nor in rewatching it multiple times in the days that followed. Netflix and Shondaland’s adaptation of Julia Quinn’s novels is all about coupling, and if you’re anything like us you might have developed more than a few crushes while finishing the season. 

Let us now lean back in repose like the Queen herself and rank the many eligible crushes of Bridgerton Season 1 (and some stinkers).

27. Lord Berbrooke

Lord Berbrooke can literally piss off.

Lord Berbrooke can literally piss off.

Image: LIAM DANIEL / NETFLIX

Pros: none. status I guess
Cons:
everything

26. Cressida Cowper

Cressida was a powerful threat for approximately one episode of "Bridgerton."

Cressida was a powerful threat for approximately one episode of “Bridgerton.”

Image: LIAM DANIEL / NETFLIX

Pros: adaptable, fights for what she wants
Cons:
history of blackmail

25. Marina Thompson

Marina could have handled a lot of things better, but we're glad she's okay.

Marina could have handled a lot of things better, but we’re glad she’s okay.

Image: LIAM DANIEL / NETFLIX

Pros: New in town
Cons:
generally unpleasant to everyone who isn’t her love George

24. Madame Genevieve Delacroix

Don't trust Madame Delacroix with anything except your fashion needs.

Don’t trust Madame Delacroix with anything except your fashion needs.

Image: screenshot / netflix

Pros: fReNcH…maybe
Cons:
a lil’ messy, and possibly lying about her name/origin/entire life story

23. Philippa and Prudence Featherington

sorry 2 these featheringtons

sorry 2 these featheringtons

Image: NICK BRIGGS / NETFLIX

Pros: Eager
Cons:
lacking in personality to the point where they share a spot on this list

22. Lady Featherington

Lady Portia Featherington had some tough looks this season.

Lady Portia Featherington had some tough looks this season.

Image: LIAM DANIEL / NETFLIX

Pros: fiercely protective mother
Cons:
beyond obsessed with appearances, seemed ready to let Marina die to avoid further scandal

21. Lord Featherington

Lord Featherington is flawed but ultimately a good dude.

Lord Featherington is flawed but ultimately a good dude.

Image: LIAM DANIEL / NETFLIX

Pros: Loves his family, one of the only people on this show unwilling to force a girl into marriage
Cons:
rampant gambler, missing and possibly dead

20. Daphne Bridgerton

Daphne Bridgerton is cute but has quite a fight in her!

Daphne Bridgerton is cute but has quite a fight in her!

Image: LIAM DANIEL / NETFLIX

Pros: shiny
Cons:
tricked her husband into nonconsensual procreation

19. Mrs. Varley

Mrs. Varley strikes as as the Geri from "Succession" of "Bridgerton."

Mrs. Varley strikes as as the Geri from “Succession” of “Bridgerton.”

Image: screenshot / netflix

Pros: Loyal
Cons: Loyal to Lady Featherington

18. Anthony Bridgerton

Anthony Bridgerton is the kind of crush you suspect will break your heart and that just makes you dive in with more enthusiasm.

Anthony Bridgerton is the kind of crush you suspect will break your heart and that just makes you dive in with more enthusiasm.

Image: NICK BRIGGS / NETFLIX

Pros: deeply angry in a way that will prove beneficial during sex
Cons:
cares about a woman’s honor unless he’s sleeping with her
[Editor’s note: Anthony is ranked too low on this list!!]

17. Simon Basset

Image: LIAM DANIEL/NETFLIX

Pros: see above image
Cons: can’t communicate a simple thought, obsessed with spiting his dead father, a rake

16. Benedict Bridgerton

Benedict u r fooling NO ONE

Benedict u r fooling NO ONE

Image: screenshot / netflix

Pros: the most sexually liberated among the main families
Cons:
thinks he’s straight 🙁

15. Penelope Featherington

Penelope deserves the world and you will hear from her if she doesn't get it!!!

Penelope deserves the world and you will hear from her if she doesn’t get it!!!

Image: LIAM DANIEL / NETFLIX

Pros: Kind, funny
Cons:
Petty af, will write articles that call you out by name

14. Prince Friederich

Why settle for a duke when one can have a prince?

Why settle for a duke when one can have a prince?

Image: screenshot / netflix

Pros: “kind, adoring…knows what he wants,” in Daphne’s own words!
Cons:
is not Simon

13. Siena Rosso

A very serious ranking of all your 'Bridgerton' crushes

Pros: strong, independent, sexy
Cons:
strong chance of relapsing with ex multiple times before you guys can start anything

12. Henry Granville

Lord Granville u flirt

Lord Granville u flirt

Image: screenshot / netflix

Pros: Suave as heck, artistic, friendly
Cons:
in love with Lord Wetherby (also married to Lucy but that doesn’t appear to be a concern)

11. Queen Charlotte

Her Majesty is a veritably crushworthy royal but would also crush you if you got in her way.

Her Majesty is a veritably crushworthy royal but would also crush you if you got in her way.

Image: LIAM DANIEL / NETFLIX

Pros: QUEEN
Cons:
probably hates you

10. Lady Bridgerton

Lady Violet Bridgerton is doing the best she can!

Lady Violet Bridgerton is doing the best she can!

Image: NICK BRIGGS / NETFLIX

Pros: super single, definitely fucks
Cons:
still in love w dead husband, occasionally drinks too much (but seemingly in a fun way)

9. Siena’s beau

Siena's new man is ready to fight for her honor and also has cool hair.

Siena’s new man is ready to fight for her honor and also has cool hair.

Image: screenshot / netflix

Pros: loves a woman without titles, which is bRaVe
Cons:
didn’t realize his gf was banging Lord Bridgerton under the bleachers like dude we literally all saw it coming

8. Mr. Finch

A very serious ranking of all your 'Bridgerton' crushes

Pros: immune to fads, loves cheese
Cons:
loves cheese too much?

7. Lady Whistledown’s voice

Reading Lady Whistledown words is an entirely different experience before and after you know who she is.

Reading Lady Whistledown words is an entirely different experience before and after you know who she is.

Image: screenshot / netflix

Pros: sassy, soothing
Cons:
lacks corporeal form

6. Colin Bridgerton

aw buddy

aw buddy

Image: LIAM DANIEL / NETFLIX

Pros: total sweetheart with a lovely voice
Cons:
he dumb

5. Eloise Bridgerton

<img alt="It's tough to put this smile on Eloise Bridgerton's face but it would be worth every second of effort

It’s tough to put this smile on Eloise Bridgerton’s face but it would be worth every second of effort <3

Image: LIAM DANIEL / NETFLIX

Pros: smart, funny, allergic to pomp and bullshit
Cons:
being someone’s crush is her literal nightmare

4. Will Mondrich

Will deserves the world!

Will deserves the world!

Image: screenshot / netflix

Pros: Cares about family above all else (but without the chip on Anthony’s shoulder)
Cons:
just the one time he threw a fight to get paid by Lord Featherington. An act of love!

3. Alice Mondrich

Alice deserves the world and more!

Alice deserves the world and more!

Image: screenshot / netflix

Pros: Patient af
Cons:
We haven’t been able to spend much time with Alice yet and we’d love to know her better.

2. Lady Danbury

Lady Danbury can literally get it

Lady Danbury can literally get it

Image: LIAM DANIEL / NETFLIX

Pros: delights in scandal and socializing even if it’s focused on the young
Cons:
will call you on your bullshit but ultimately for the best

1. Sir Phillip Crane

Sir Phillip Crane shows up at the eleventh hour to save Marina Thompson from misery.

Sir Phillip Crane shows up at the eleventh hour to save Marina Thompson from misery.

Image: screenshot / netflix

Pros: loyal brother, willing to provide
Cons:
MARRIED ugh screw this show

Bridgerton is now streaming on Netflix.

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