Happy Valentine’s Day!
Everyone’s favorite Hallmark holiday is back, and performative love is in the air once again. It’s in our timelines, too.
The annual love holiday always brings out social media’s various peanut galleries, but 2021 is a special case because it’s our first Valentine’s during the U.S. era of COVID-19. We’ve all been cooped up in our homes for the better part of a year, which means we’ve also had plenty of time to write new material instead of going out and finding love (or lust or, really, whatever you’re searching for — it’s all valid!).
The result is a timeline full of corny, hilarious, ridiculous, and generally just weird tributes to love. Or to whatever thing the author happens to be thinking about in that given moment. Don’t think too hard about it yourself. Valentine’s Day may have its roots in a Christian feast day, but for most of us it’s just a day of roses and chocolates and saccharine sentiments.
Even the CIA is feeling the love. The U.S. intelligence agency made a game of the whole thing, releasing a coded phrase a couple days before Feb. 14 and then sharing the obvious-in-hindsight answer.
(The replies to this one are especially entertaining. Needless to say, the expression of love from the premiere U.S. spy agency did not go over well.)
The Sonic the Hedgehog brand Twitter got in on the fun with the most off-putting Valentine’s bouquet you’ll ever see.
A Twitter account that’s meant to personify the U.S. Constitution’s 1st Amendment put out a little reminder about how the often-misunderstood “Freedom of Speech” does and doesn’t work for U.S. citizens.
Roses are red
You make my heart flitter
I protect you from government
Not from Twitter— The First Amendment (@USConst_Amend_I) February 14, 2021
Professional basketball’s Golden State Warriors handed out a set of four player-themed cards for you to share with the Valentine(s) in your life.
A superb deep cut for all the Star Trek fans out there.
Pee-Wee Herman, forever a delight, kept it nice and wholesome.
This one requires a little Star Wars inside joke knowledge. (Obi-Wan’s line here is “I have the high ground.” Enjoy!)
Look, they don’t always have to rhyme.
One for my fellow ancient computer nerds.
Kelly’s not wrong. This is the sweetest Star Wars ship.
And because it’s never the wrong choice to end with an adorable red panda, here’s an adorable red panda.
Happy Valentine’s Day!