The lowdown: Every avid Game of Thrones fan has at least one character on their sexual fantasy list. You may not be able to to fulfill those dreams, but you can have themed masturbation with the “Game of Moans” Long Shaft dildo, modeled after Jon Snow’s sword. “Winter is coming” just got a whole new meaning.
Vibrations: It’s not a vibrating dildo, so you or a partner will have to do the work — just like in Westeros. However, the shaft is long and should have no trouble tickling the right spots, while the sword’s the hilt allows for control of its direction and “max penetration and pleasure.”
Size and shape: The site describes it as a “long, thick shaft” and they’re not kidding: it maxes out at a whopping 11.5 inches long and has a 4-inch girth.
The craftsmanship of the toy is pretty spot-on. It’s as close to the look of Valyrian steel as you can get with silicone, and the details in the handle are better than many actual toy replicas.
Finding reviews about this specific model is near impossible, but the internet seems to be obsessed with the site’s other toys, so we can assume the quality remains high across the board. Customer Emily writes:
“I am 1 extremely satisfied customer. I can not gush enough over the craftsmanship of this toy! The aesthetic is flawless. The texture is amazing and realistic, the suction cup could probably pull a dent put of your car. It’s soft and pliable which is my preference. It’s still firm enough to get a good grip on”
The sword has been on sale for $110 for a while, and you may still be able to catch the discount. Alternatively, if you’re one of the people who thinks the Night King can get it, Geeky Sex Toys also sells a glow-in-the-dark dildo appropriately called the Night Kink.