DC officially won’t let Batman go down on Catwoman, and Twitter is in an uproar

It seems Batman is officially a selfish lover. So many years spent training to become a master detective, yet he may still have difficulty locating the G-spot.

In a feature published on Monday, Variety explored how superhero stories are evolving in order to keep audiences engaged. However, it is an anecdote from Harley Quinn co-creator and executive producer Justin Halpern that has caught the internet’s attention and imagination. 

Speaking on the creative freedom that comes with writing villains rather than heroes, Halpern gave the example of a moment in the upcoming third season of the animated series where Batman was originally meant to be “going down” on Catwoman. Unfortunately, the higher ups at DC were having none of it.

“They’re like, ‘Heroes don’t do that,'” said Halpern. “So we said, ‘Are you saying heroes are just selfish lovers?’ They were like, ‘No, it’s that we sell consumer toys for heroes. It’s hard to sell a toy if Batman is also going down on someone.'”

It makes sense that DC would be protective of one of their most iconic, recognisable, and marketable characters. Yet one could easily argue that Batman’s sexual prowess could open up new toy merchandising opportunities, particularly considering his affinity for interesting little gadgets. Harley Quinn is also very R-rated, and shouldn’t be entering the eyeballs of anyone who might be turned off a Batman action figure by his bedroom activities anyway.

The ban on bat-oral seems like a weird line for DC to draw when it comes to the Dark Knight’s less vengeance-oriented nighttime escapades. Several fans have pointed out the company had no problem with Batman going at it with Batgirl in 2016 animated film Batman: The Killing Joke despite the uncomfortable power dynamics, significant age difference, and the fact that Batgirl is more frequently seen as a romantic interest to Nightwing — the first Robin and Batman’s adopted son.

Despite the new ruling regarding their sex lives, heroes such as notably generous lover Green Arrow have previously gone downtown on their partners in DC’s comics. It’s possible there are different standards for cartoons, but isn’t as though the adult-targeted Harley Quinn shies away from sex either — the titular character clearly gets it on with Poison Ivy on multiple occasions.

The most obvious conclusion we can draw is that it is the specific act of eating out, done by the specific hero Batman, that DC has decided simply would not happen.

Mashable has reached out to DC for clarification regarding Batman’s sex life, and it was probably the most uncomfortable press inquiry I’ve ever sent.

Of course, there are already numerous, varied takes on the whole bat sex situation, which has captured the hearts and minds of thousands. Of these, fans on Twitter are largely divided into two camps: those mocking the apparently sexually inept billionaire, and those digging in their heels as Batman cunnilingus truthers.

The selfish lovers at DC may have decided that officially, in the company canon, Batman has never given head. However, the beauty of the Caped Crusader’s mask is that it allows him to be whatever we need him to be. He belongs to the people, a faceless avatar upon whom the masses can project their darkest dreams and desires, whether they wish for justice, vengeance — or something a bit more risqué.

Harley Quinn is available to stream on HBO Max.