It’s Day 6,395 of Quarantine, So Let’s Explore the World of Butt-Care Products

Because, why not?

Butt Creams

Butt creams are the gateway booty care drug—essentially, they’re amped up body creams that tend to be thicker and are formulated to treat common caboose concerns like rashes and bumps or uneven skin tone.

Sol de Janeiro Brazilian Bum Bum Cream

Nannette de Gaspe Uplift Revealed Tush

PureBody Butt and Breast Cream

Buns of Steel Toning Cream

Butt Scrubs

Butt scrubs are pretty much what they sound like: Gritty body scrubs formulated to exfoliate your tender tush. Scrubs promise all kinds of results, like reducing cellulite and increasing firmness. Those claims may be dubious, but scrub can certainly help to even out skin tone and reduce the appearance of dry, bumpy skin, leaving you with a soft and glowing bum.

Becky Booty Scrub

Anese That Booty Tho

M3 Naturals Arabica Coffee Scrub

Butt Treatments

If you suffer from issues like butt acne, blackheads, or ingrown hairs, a specialty treatment product can help clear those things up. There are also treatments out there for cellulite, scars, stretch marks—basically, if it happens to your rear end, there’s probably a product designed to deal with it.

The Beach Bum Butt & Thigh Acne Clearing Spot Treatment Cream

Anti-Acne Buttocks & Thigh Treatment

The Back, Butt and Body Bar

Green Hearts Lab Brilliant Booty Kit

Soap & Glory Sit Tight Super-Intense 4-D

Weleda Cellulite Body Oil

Sculpt Sweat Anti-Cellulite Lotion

Body Merry Stretch Marks & Scars Defense Cream

Bleach My Butt

Butt Lifters & Enhancers

You like big butts and you cannot lie, we get it. You can do squats, sure! Or you could try one of these butt lifting and enhancing products—then report back on how well they worked because … ehhhh, these seem a little snake oil-y, right?

FreezeFrame Brazilian Butt Lift

BFE Butt Enhancement & Enlargement Cream

Curve Butt Enhancement Cream

Butt Butter Butt Enhancement Cream

Booty Besty Butt Enhancement and Butt Enlargement Pills

Booty Magic Ultra Butt Enhancement Pills

Butt Masks

Why should your face have all the fun? Sheet and mud masks for derrieres exist so if your idea of fun involves figuring out exactly which yoga pose to call on when it’s time to apply a butt mask to yourself before lying face down while your tush marinates, these are the butt care products for you!

Bawdy Bite It Plant-Based Collagen Butt Mask

Butt Cheek Beauty Kit

Biovène Bubble Butt Detoxifying Butt Mask

Freeman Travel Size Cheeky Butt Smoothing + Toning Sheet Mask

Elitzia Lifting and Tightening Collagen Crystal Gold Butt Mask

Yes To Booty-ful Paper Mask

Butt Tools

Let’s round this out with an exploration of the brushes and scrubbers and sponges and machinery—“MACHINERY?!?” Yup! Machinery—designed for making your rear end the smoothest, perkiest, glowing-est rump it can be.