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Sadly but unsurprisingly, the start of 2021 has been much like the end of 2020. The coronavirus pandemic is still ravaging the world, thousands of people in the U.S. are still dying, and President Donald Trump is still baselessly insisting he didn’t lose the election as he slowly shrinks and transforms into a corn cob.

“Turns out 2020 is dropping some bonus tracks,” quipped Late Show host Stephen Colbert on Monday.

Kicking off our 2020 redux, the Washington Post published a recording of a phone call in which Trump pressured Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger to “find” 11,780 votes in his favour — enough to flip the state by a margin of one vote. As Colbert noted, this call was “probably illegal,” with former Department of Justice Inspector General Michael R. Bromwich tweeting as much.

It seems Trump isn’t done making “perfect” phone calls.

“This call is like if Watergate and the Ukraine scandal had a baby that they made on the Access Hollywood bus,” said Colbert. “When you’re a star they let you do it.

Recapping the highlights of the hour-long call, Colbert mocked Trump’s rambling arguments, noting for the umpteenth time that they were riddled with false information, conspiracy theories, and spurious conclusions. 

Flailing about like a salted slug, Trump tried everything from “rumours” that ballots were shredded (they weren’t) to the idea that voting machines were tampered with (nope), and even claimed he must have won in Georgia because his rallies were attended by up to 30,000 people. Which, again, no.

“Rally size does not decide who wins the election,” said Colbert. “That’s why on the 20th of January we won’t be swearing in President BTS.” 

If only.

Advantages of local domestic helper.