Whether you’re looking for something serious or someone who only texts after midnight, there’s a dating site full of people looking for the same thing — we promise.
Your best bet
Match
The OG reigns supreme with a tried-and-true algorithm and features that modernize with the user base.
Best swiping app
Hinge
This modern go-to app for millennials to find a date is chiller than Match but less “Wanna bang?” than Tinder.
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Roast Tinder bios where users list their height all you want, but a good portion of us are goddamn thankful for online dating.
Some grandparents and much of fake spiritual Twitter still insist that online dating takes away from that raw conversation that can only be had in person, but if you think about it, online dating fosters many more interactions with people that you probably wouldn’t have come across otherwise. Plus, it’s a helpful step to mitigate the pressure of meeting someone new, especially for introverts or people following social distancing rules.
The modern serendipity that is coming across your soulmate’s profile out of millions of profiles is way more likely than you think: Two Stanford sociologists found that online dating is officially the most popular way for U.S. couples to connect. The 2017 survey found that 39% of heterosexual couples and 60% of same-sex couples originally met online, beating the numbers of older, traditional methods like meeting through friends or at work or school.
Other recent studies about the types of connections being made deliver a swift blow to the antiquated arguments about online dating being solely rooted in superficial factors, like how hot someone’s profile picture is: People who meet online are more likely to be compatible and, if they decide to tie the knot, have a higher chance of a healthy marriage — that is, according to this study cited in the MIT Technology Review. Another Stanford study found that heterosexual couples who met online were quicker to get married than couples who met offline.
Of course, meeting online doesn’t guarantee that a couple won’t break up or that every user will want to move at that pace. No one is assuming online dating is the variable that guarantees riding off into the sunset. But research does suggest that people who are down to put effort and honesty into compatibility tests and open-ended profile questions might be more ready to get serious.
The variety and quality of information on your profile matters
In many cases, the amount of information you can get from these detailed profiles is more than what would be covered in the “traditional” period of getting to know someone. The whole “do you want to have babies” thing is a huge piece of information that could decide your future with someone, but it’s very possible that such a weighty subject won’t be brought up until you’ve caught feelings or met their parents.
However, many dating sites ask about kids — whether you want them or already have them — during the sign-up process (as well as other potentially-awkward questions), and probably won’t match you with someone who has different goals than you do. Similarly, some of OkCupid’s matching is rooted in political and social justice views. Will you find out if someone keeps guns in the house or opposes vaccinations on the first date? Probably not, but OkCupid sure as hell won’t send you to get a beer with someone you’d start a fight with on Facebook.
Even if you’re just in it for something hot and casual, the personality you can gather from simple bio or a few of Hinge’s ice breakers might let you know who’s worthy of your time — even if that time is solely between midnight and 6 a.m.
SEE ALSO: How to make your dating profile stand out
Julie Spira, dating expert and CEO of cyberdatingexpert.com, says it wasn’t always so easy to meet people online. She would know: she’s been helping clients find love online since 1994.
“People didn’t have mobile phones and laptops, and the process was people would go home, log on slowly, see who had written to them and write back,” she says. “The courtship process was a lot slower, so it took quite a while to get from the first interaction to actually going on a date. Plus in those days, there was a stigma associated with online dating. You did not tell people you met your spouse, or partner, or even a date online.”
The rhetoric has clearly come a long way since then, and the digital dating landscape has evolved with people’s changing needs. OkCupid realized that the way a potential match votes matters romantically to a lot of people. Women were tired of men blowing up their messages with creepy first-liners, so Bumble came along. On Coffee Meets Bagel, only people you’ve liked back can message you, and swiping through people won’t take up all your free time. “Tindering” is now a verb, but it’s far from your only option.
We haven’t quite reached AI-based or gene matchmaking just yet, but a lot of new features to facilitate more meaningful matches (or quicker hookups) have sprung up even in the past five years. If you’re fed up with the dating site or app you use now or just don’t know where to start, check out our top picks for the dating sites most worth your time:
New safety features for emergency communication • Lets you choose dealbreakers • Stacked user base, even in smaller towns • Near-infinite ways to add personality to your profile • Easy to tell who put effort into their profile • Find love in six months or get six more months for free
Sifting through profiles takes work • You get notifications for everything • Prices change too often
Somewhere between too chill and overwhelming lies Match, with the same booming user base and a totally modernized look.
Match
The OG reigns supreme with a tried-and-true algorithm and features that modernize with the user base.-
Free version:
Yes -
One month:
$35.99 -
Three months:
$19.99/month -
Six months:
$17.99/month -
One year:
$15.99/month
You’ve probably known what Match was since you were little. Its decades in the business bring constantly-evolving insight to the table for singles looking for that spark. But if you’re expecting a corny questionnaire and ancient graphics reflective of the fact that it was born in the 90s, think again.
Match (no more “.com”) has totally reconstructed its questionnaire to be less of a tedious interrogation and more of a conversational probe into how you’d react to realistic situations — both with a partner and, say, a neighbor who needs help at 3. a.m. The probe into your daily habits and values (plus the ability to mark traits that are deal breakers) ensures that Match sets you up with someone whose ideal lifestyle matches yours. The meshing of playfulness and rational thinking downs the pressure of signing up for a paid dating site.
The site’s push to appeal to a younger crowd goes past the clean app redesign. AskMatch, a free dating advice service that lets you pick the brain of a dating coach, makes constant appearances in reviews on the App Store. In 2020, Match launched Vibe Check, a social distancing-era video call feature that aims to give new matches the closest thing possible to a first date. (This is also a smart way to ensure that the person on the other end is legit.) Users can now talk to their Top Picks without a paid subscription — a free feature that’s sure to make up some people’s minds.
At the end of the day, Match’s mix of classic and modern has helped it grow a user base that’s bigger than the population of New York City. “Match is the family brand,” Spira says. “It’s the one where someone could see their grandmother on, and someone could see their grandson on. It has the largest critical mass, and they have done a fabulous job of keeping up with the technology.”
Match (no more “.com”) has totally reconstructed its questionnaire to be less of a tedious interrogation and more of a conversational probe into how you’d react to realistic situations — both with a partner and, say, a neighbor who needs help at 3. a.m. The probe into your daily habits and values (plus the ability to mark traits that are deal breakers) ensures that Match sets you up with someone whose ideal lifestyle matches yours. The meshing of playfulness and rational thinking downs the pressure of signing up for a paid dating site.
The site’s push to appeal to a younger crowd goes past the clean app redesign. AskMatch, a free dating advice service that lets you pick the brain of a dating coach, makes constant appearances in reviews on the App Store. In 2020, Match launched Vibe Check, a social distancing-era video call feature that aims to give new matches the closest thing possible to a first date. (This is also a smart way to ensure that the person on the other end is legit.) Users can now talk to their Top Picks without a paid subscription — a free feature that’s sure to make up some people’s minds.
At the end of the day, Match’s mix of classic and modern has helped it grow a user base that’s bigger than the population of New York City. “Match is the family brand,” Spira says. “It’s the one where someone could see their grandmother on, and someone could see their grandson on. It has the largest critical mass, and they have done a fabulous job of keeping up with the technology.”
Limited scrolling rather than endless swiping • Unique profile criteria like political affiliation and stance on marijuana • Rapidly-growing user base, especially in cities • High statistics for second dates
Filtering by height no longer a free feature • Have to pay for unlimited matches
The wide appeal of Hinge is due to its thoughtful combo of Tinder’s instant gratification and Match’s relationship focus.
Hinge
This modern go-to app for millennials to find a date is chiller than Match but less “Wanna bang?” than Tinder.-
Free version:
Yes -
One month of paid:
$12.99/month -
Three months of paid:
$6.99/month -
Six months of paid:
$4.99/month
Having a profile on Tinder probably means you have one on Hinge and Bumble, too. The big three millennial, rapid-fire apps may seem interchangeable, but Hinge has an arsenal of unique profile criteria and a data-based algorithm that sets it apart from competitors who simply throw everyone in a 10-mile radius in your direction.
Despite the fact that we’re actively seeking out new dating apps and feel a rush every time a cute contender swipes right back, no one wants to be on these. Unless you’re in it for the booty calls, the whole point of online dating is to find your person so you can stop looking for your person. That’s the whole idea behind Hinge’s 2019 rebrand to “the dating app designed to be deleted.” TBH, it’s a really smart combo of witty and optimistic that should deliver users some hope. If you don’t trust slogans, Hinge’s real-world statistics speak for themselves: Beta trials of a feature called “We met” asked Hinge users how the first date went. Some 90% said the first date was great and 72% said they’d be down for a second date.
There’s a common understanding among users that Hinge isn’t just for sex, but there’s no pressure to rush into a relationship either. Instead of extensive cheesy questionnaires and spam emails about the 50 winks you were sent, Hinge uses personal prompts to find you anywhere from five to 15 matches per day. Prompts range from “The most spontaneous thing I’ve ever done” to “Two truths and a lie.” Seems like a good recipe for a connection, right?
You can also explore a potential match’s height, college (if they went), political affiliation, stance on weed, and more, which are displayed as profile constants like age or gender. By covering so many bases before even messaging someone, Hinge lowers your chance of meeting someone you’d hate.
Despite the fact that we’re actively seeking out new dating apps and feel a rush every time a cute contender swipes right back, no one wants to be on these. Unless you’re in it for the booty calls, the whole point of online dating is to find your person so you can stop looking for your person. That’s the whole idea behind Hinge’s 2019 rebrand to “the dating app designed to be deleted.” TBH, it’s a really smart combo of witty and optimistic that should deliver users some hope. If you don’t trust slogans, Hinge’s real-world statistics speak for themselves: Beta trials of a feature called “We met” asked Hinge users how the first date went. Some 90% said the first date was great and 72% said they’d be down for a second date.
There’s a common understanding among users that Hinge isn’t just for sex, but there’s no pressure to rush into a relationship either. Instead of extensive cheesy questionnaires and spam emails about the 50 winks you were sent, Hinge uses personal prompts to find you anywhere from five to 15 matches per day. Prompts range from “The most spontaneous thing I’ve ever done” to “Two truths and a lie.” Seems like a good recipe for a connection, right?
You can also explore a potential match’s height, college (if they went), political affiliation, stance on weed, and more, which are displayed as profile constants like age or gender. By covering so many bases before even messaging someone, Hinge lowers your chance of meeting someone you’d hate.
Expands compatibility to those with similar social justice views • Dedicated space in bio for preferred pronouns • Modern redesign that’s genuinely fun to navigate • Politics and social justice views are important compatibility ingredients
The best features aren’t free • Not great in small towns
OkCupid will offer you matches that feel really multi-faceted — and the site looks great, too.
OkCupid
Millennials who follow current events will enjoy OkCupid’s Tumblr-esque design and a focus on social issues.-
Free version:
Yes -
One month:
$9.95/month -
Three months:
$7.95/month -
Six months:
$4.95/month
Is your worst nightmare going on a date with someone super hot just to find out they don’t care about women’s issues? OkCupid is here to weed them out.
Users can illuminate the issues they hold dear and weed out people they’d want to argue with by answering deal-breakers like “Would you date someone who keeps a gun in the house?” or “Should the government require children be vaccinated for preventable diseases?” As one of the most inclusive dating sites on the market by far, OkCupid is known for its decision to let all users choose their pronouns. In June 2020, the site introduced the option to add a Black Lives Matter badge to your profile. Per OkCupid’s own stats, liberal women in particular have luck on the site.
Of course, politics aren’t the only determining factor in romance. OKCupid has in-depth user bios, but profile building isn’t long or tedious at all. The questions are smart and dive into your dating style without being too mushy. You’ll even get to see the percentage of how much you have in common with other daters based on the questions you both answer. It’s an algorithm that OKC has been perfecting and evolving since their launch in 2004.
“OkCupid has been a favorite of mine for years,” Spira says. “I always liked OkCupid because they have a great critical mass and they have the thought-provoking questions that really allow you to think about how you feel about some of these issues, whether it’s politics or gun control, and how do you feel about your date’s answers.”
Users can illuminate the issues they hold dear and weed out people they’d want to argue with by answering deal-breakers like “Would you date someone who keeps a gun in the house?” or “Should the government require children be vaccinated for preventable diseases?” As one of the most inclusive dating sites on the market by far, OkCupid is known for its decision to let all users choose their pronouns. In June 2020, the site introduced the option to add a Black Lives Matter badge to your profile. Per OkCupid’s own stats, liberal women in particular have luck on the site.
Of course, politics aren’t the only determining factor in romance. OKCupid has in-depth user bios, but profile building isn’t long or tedious at all. The questions are smart and dive into your dating style without being too mushy. You’ll even get to see the percentage of how much you have in common with other daters based on the questions you both answer. It’s an algorithm that OKC has been perfecting and evolving since their launch in 2004.
“OkCupid has been a favorite of mine for years,” Spira says. “I always liked OkCupid because they have a great critical mass and they have the thought-provoking questions that really allow you to think about how you feel about some of these issues, whether it’s politics or gun control, and how do you feel about your date’s answers.”
High success rate speaks for itself • Questionnaire makes you think about what you need to work on • Super user-friendly
Historically not LGBTQ-friendly • No support for non-binary users
If you’re dying to find the one and settle down ASAP, eharmony’s proven success is worth the premium cost.
eharmony
Casual daters will feel smothered, but eharmony has made serious changes to appeal to marriage-minded millennials.-
Free version:
Yes -
Three months:
$54.95/month -
Six months:
$36.95/month -
One year:
$22.95/month
Ever see a commercial for eharmony and wonder if a dating site that corny actually works? Weirdly enough, it does. A spokesperson for the site says it’s been used by 54 million people, and is apparently responsible for 4 percent of U.S. marriages. That doesn’t mean you’re going to walk down the aisle within the first year, but it at least narrows your options to singles who are open to being exclusive, meeting the family, or moving in together.
What was once a doozy of a sign-up process is now short, sweet, and free of the corny, religious questions that held it back from being a top choice for the younger crowd. The comprehensive questionnaire now covers 32 dimensions (up from 29) of what makes a happy relationship. Instead of blatantly asking if you get mad easily or if you’re emotionally stable, eharmony may ask how you handle apologizing after a fight or if a certain action would piss you off. These hypotheticals draw more natural responses, and a few other fun ones are thrown in to cover surface-level basics like hobbies, too. Everything is displayed on profiles that look like a fancy résumé designed by a graphic designer.
It’s not the deep dive into your emotions like it was a few years ago, but eharmony is still so confident in its matchmaking skills that you’ll get three months for free if you don’t find a boo within the first three months.
It should be noted that eharmony hasn’t always been a welcoming place to members of the LGBTQ+ community. Following a 2010 lawsuit, their gay and lesbian spin-off site Compatibility Partners has been folded into eharmony’s overall site, but users on Reddit as recently as 2019 say that it still seems geared more toward straight people.
What was once a doozy of a sign-up process is now short, sweet, and free of the corny, religious questions that held it back from being a top choice for the younger crowd. The comprehensive questionnaire now covers 32 dimensions (up from 29) of what makes a happy relationship. Instead of blatantly asking if you get mad easily or if you’re emotionally stable, eharmony may ask how you handle apologizing after a fight or if a certain action would piss you off. These hypotheticals draw more natural responses, and a few other fun ones are thrown in to cover surface-level basics like hobbies, too. Everything is displayed on profiles that look like a fancy résumé designed by a graphic designer.
It’s not the deep dive into your emotions like it was a few years ago, but eharmony is still so confident in its matchmaking skills that you’ll get three months for free if you don’t find a boo within the first three months.
It should be noted that eharmony hasn’t always been a welcoming place to members of the LGBTQ+ community. Following a 2010 lawsuit, their gay and lesbian spin-off site Compatibility Partners has been folded into eharmony’s overall site, but users on Reddit as recently as 2019 say that it still seems geared more toward straight people.
Massive user base (in the U.S. and globally) • Chemistry questionnaires are actually decent • Tons of ways to interact • LGBTQ+ and poly friendly
Desktop version and app are buggy and outdated • Entire site looks like a virus-ridden porn ad • Best features get pricey
If you can get past the fact that it looks like an ad for a deserted strip club, you won’t leave unsatisfied.
AdultFriendFinder
Millions of down-for-anything users make AFF great for finding a fling, but it’s as sketchy as it is sexy.-
Free version:
Yes -
One month:
$39.95 -
Three months:
$26.95/month -
One year:
$19.95/month
AdultFriendFinder is our pick for the best hookup site, and that’s because it’s literally impossible to walk away unsatisfied. Though a lot of young people use Tinder to find casual sex, AFF is more… mature — like a Pornhub that you can actually interact with. Regardless of whether you’re looking for an in-person hookup or to blow off some steam via sexting or raunchy videos, AFF has everything that your dirty mind can think of and more. Almost nothing is blurred out (you see everything), but if you don’t mind that the entire thing looks like a sketchy “There are hot singles in your area” ad, you’ll be in heaven.
With 20-something million monthly users as well as live video options, chat rooms, groups for ultra specific kinks, and more, you can probably assume how wild this site can get. But there’s such a large and diverse group of potential matches, you’re very likely to find other like-minded people, which does wonders when all you want to do is connect with someone who’s on the same page as you. The part that you wouldn’t expect is the fact that they do offer tons of compatibility questions and matchmaking services, because they’re that intent on finding you a good lay.
Another bonus is that AdultFriendFinder is like the dating site version of New York City — it never sleeps. You’ll find people who work the regular 9-5, people who work the night shift, and people in other time zones, so it’s nearly impossible to log on and not have people to talk to. AdultFriendFinder is like the booty call that’s always awake when you text them.
With 20-something million monthly users as well as live video options, chat rooms, groups for ultra specific kinks, and more, you can probably assume how wild this site can get. But there’s such a large and diverse group of potential matches, you’re very likely to find other like-minded people, which does wonders when all you want to do is connect with someone who’s on the same page as you. The part that you wouldn’t expect is the fact that they do offer tons of compatibility questions and matchmaking services, because they’re that intent on finding you a good lay.
Another bonus is that AdultFriendFinder is like the dating site version of New York City — it never sleeps. You’ll find people who work the regular 9-5, people who work the night shift, and people in other time zones, so it’s nearly impossible to log on and not have people to talk to. AdultFriendFinder is like the booty call that’s always awake when you text them.
Recent update makes questionnaire more fun • More mature user base than most dating sites • Low chance of getting catfished
Way too pricey • Restricted to a few matches per day • Distance filter starts at 50 miles • Might get suggestions that don’t match your filters
Calling on a more established crowd, EliteSingles offers a mature space for ambitious individuals to connect.
Elite Singles
You can speak your love language *and* money language here, but it might be too hit-or-miss for the price.-
Free version:
Yes -
Three months:
$69.95/month -
Six months:
$53.95/month -
One year:
$39.95/month
A difference in work ethic and professional schedules can really throw a wrench into even the most head-over-heels relationships. For those unwilling to budge when it comes to their partner’s educational values and career goals, EliteSingles attempts to offer more specificity where eharmony and Match leave off.
EliteSingles loves to brag that 82% of their members are college grads, and with most of its members between 33-50 years old, we can pretty surely say you won’t have to worry about accidentally coming across a fresh college graduate. College kids probably wouldn’t be down to pay $30 to $70 a month on a dating site anyway, and that high subscription price is just another giveaway that EliteSingles is targeted toward more established folks with a disposable income.
Rather than being thrown into an endless pool of profiles, EliteSingles attempts to match you through the Five Factor Personality Test. Via 29 algorithms, the site will try to find singles to complement your attachment style, selfishness, and more stuff that you should try to be honest about. The boring parts are broken up by chill questions like “Do you like sleeping with the window open?” and “Which of these foods would you like the best?” It takes forever and a lot of the questions are fake deep, but how else do you expect to be successful on a dating site?
Plus, you can take comfort in the fact that you won’t be dealing with fake or scam accounts, as EliteSingles manually verifies all accounts with an upscale fraud detection system. However, though you can technically filter potential matches by profession (for example, a teacher looking to date another teacher), it’s difficult for any dating site to track down every single person lying about their job or how much money they make.
EliteSingles loves to brag that 82% of their members are college grads, and with most of its members between 33-50 years old, we can pretty surely say you won’t have to worry about accidentally coming across a fresh college graduate. College kids probably wouldn’t be down to pay $30 to $70 a month on a dating site anyway, and that high subscription price is just another giveaway that EliteSingles is targeted toward more established folks with a disposable income.
Rather than being thrown into an endless pool of profiles, EliteSingles attempts to match you through the Five Factor Personality Test. Via 29 algorithms, the site will try to find singles to complement your attachment style, selfishness, and more stuff that you should try to be honest about. The boring parts are broken up by chill questions like “Do you like sleeping with the window open?” and “Which of these foods would you like the best?” It takes forever and a lot of the questions are fake deep, but how else do you expect to be successful on a dating site?
Plus, you can take comfort in the fact that you won’t be dealing with fake or scam accounts, as EliteSingles manually verifies all accounts with an upscale fraud detection system. However, though you can technically filter potential matches by profession (for example, a teacher looking to date another teacher), it’s difficult for any dating site to track down every single person lying about their job or how much money they make.
Little to no effort required after making a profile • No messages from people you haven’t liked back • Less judgement over the perfect profile picture • Premium perks earned just by using the app • Can get a lot of real dates out of it
Smaller cities might see the same users again and again • Kind of expensive for the bland features it offers
This small user base allows CMB to find a handful of highly-compatible matches while you get on with your day.
Coffee Meets Bagel
Skip the pressure of constant inbox notifications with CMB’s smaller user base and authentic, curated matches.-
Free version:
Yes -
One month:
$34.99 -
Three months:
$24.99/month -
Six months:
$19.99/month -
One year:
$14.99/month
Grabbing coffee is the low-pressure date idea that lets you skip trying to choose a dressy-but-not-too-extra outfit for a concert or a restaurant. Coffee Meets Bagel is like the “grabbing coffee” version of dating apps, aiming to bring an easygoing atmosphere to folks who might just be a little rusty. (It’s actually one of the few dating apps that doesn’t get completely roasted on Reddit, and threads on a few Reddit posts are full of promising success stories.)
Millions upon millions of active users is usually a plus. It is nice to know that your options are virtually limitless, but it’s a bit jarring to have 20 new messages to read every time you sign on. This happens on eharmony and Tinder alike — people want connection, and they want it now. CMB’s slow and steady approach is great for singles who are out of practice, introverted, or who simply don’t feel like scrolling every time they have a free minute.
Every day, CMB offers seven of its best matches (bagels) for you, chosen by your answers to prompts, how you swiped on yesterday’s batch, and who has already expressed interest in you, too. Bagels are limited regardless of whether you upgrade to a paid account.
CMB encourages users to get the ball rolling by only keeping your match for seven days. It’s less pressure than Bumble’s 24-hour time limit but still eliminates a list full of matches who don’t care enough to respond or plan a meet-up. Plus, not being bombarded with available hotties 24/7 gives you time to contemplate whether you genuinely want to get to know them or if you’re just bored.
Millions upon millions of active users is usually a plus. It is nice to know that your options are virtually limitless, but it’s a bit jarring to have 20 new messages to read every time you sign on. This happens on eharmony and Tinder alike — people want connection, and they want it now. CMB’s slow and steady approach is great for singles who are out of practice, introverted, or who simply don’t feel like scrolling every time they have a free minute.
Every day, CMB offers seven of its best matches (bagels) for you, chosen by your answers to prompts, how you swiped on yesterday’s batch, and who has already expressed interest in you, too. Bagels are limited regardless of whether you upgrade to a paid account.
CMB encourages users to get the ball rolling by only keeping your match for seven days. It’s less pressure than Bumble’s 24-hour time limit but still eliminates a list full of matches who don’t care enough to respond or plan a meet-up. Plus, not being bombarded with available hotties 24/7 gives you time to contemplate whether you genuinely want to get to know them or if you’re just bored.
Desktop version is as trendy and clean as the app • Everything is deleted after 24 hours • Stellar reviews in the app store • No-strings-attached sex without the sketchiness
Possible catfish risk
Self-proclaimed as “the hookup app”, Pure is like Snapchat for sex and brings spontaneous, discreet hookups.
Pure
The least obnoxious (and most hipster) hookup app out there that guarantees quick, no-strings-attached booty calls.-
Free version:
Yes
When we think PURE, we think purely physical. If you’re tired of getting signals crossed or dread being asked “What are we?” by a friend with benefits, PURE is the place to find a booty call who won’t try to text you earlier than midnight. App rules urge you to “pretend like you’re strangers afterwards,” making no-strings-attached the only name of the game here. This minimalistic and hella millennial app is no-nonsense, sex-positive, and even features some art — the blueprint of what a hookup app should be.
Small talk and all that mushy shit? Sometimes, that just ain’t it. Your uploaded selfies, personal info, and conversations with others self destruct every 60 minutes, promoting spur-of-the-moment and borderline anonymous hookups. The app will ask for your phone number, but that’s just to make sure you’re a real person. (As the hipster comics on their website state, “Don’t talk about your problems. Problems are for therapists. Pure is for fun.”) The app uses your geolocation and sends out the sex version of an Uber request, so you won’t have to worry about finding out your match actually lives across the country. There’s a seriously fun “less talking, more touching” vibe that ramps up the fast-paced atmosphere, taking things to a whole new level.
PURE gives all the feels of a hookup-only site without the obnoxious naked parts everywhere, AKA you won’t have to be scared for someone to glance at your phone or computer screen as you would with AdultFriendFinder. AskMen mentions that it “seriously challenges the status quo,” and we agree — the surge of blatant sex positivity is a breath of fresh air when compared to other dating apps that try to convince you that you’ll find your soulmate. There’s no fancy algorithm, no crappy bio jokes, and best of all: no waiting. It will ask for your credit card info, but we promise it’s all free.
Small talk and all that mushy shit? Sometimes, that just ain’t it. Your uploaded selfies, personal info, and conversations with others self destruct every 60 minutes, promoting spur-of-the-moment and borderline anonymous hookups. The app will ask for your phone number, but that’s just to make sure you’re a real person. (As the hipster comics on their website state, “Don’t talk about your problems. Problems are for therapists. Pure is for fun.”) The app uses your geolocation and sends out the sex version of an Uber request, so you won’t have to worry about finding out your match actually lives across the country. There’s a seriously fun “less talking, more touching” vibe that ramps up the fast-paced atmosphere, taking things to a whole new level.
PURE gives all the feels of a hookup-only site without the obnoxious naked parts everywhere, AKA you won’t have to be scared for someone to glance at your phone or computer screen as you would with AdultFriendFinder. AskMen mentions that it “seriously challenges the status quo,” and we agree — the surge of blatant sex positivity is a breath of fresh air when compared to other dating apps that try to convince you that you’ll find your soulmate. There’s no fancy algorithm, no crappy bio jokes, and best of all: no waiting. It will ask for your credit card info, but we promise it’s all free.
No unsolicited creepy messages from dudes • Eliminates “dead” matches • Bumble Boost lets you rematch with an expired match
Time limit could be too high-pressure for some • You’ll see a lot of the same people as Tinder
With women making moves and matches expiring after a day, Bumble gets you considering matches more seriously.
Bumble
Women are required to make the first move, so it’s great for ladies tired of being bombarded by creepy dudes.-
Free version:
Yes -
One week:
$8.99/week -
One month:
$24.99/month -
Three months:
$16.66/month -
Six months:
$13.33/month
Meet the dating app version of the Sadie Hawkins dance, created by ex-Tinder employees (ooh, drama). In an attempt to correct one of the common complaints of dating apps — that women get spammed with tons of creepy messages — women are required to message first with Bumble. It pushes some women out of their comfort zone, but like Tinder, you’ll at least know that someone also swiped right on you before making a move. It also takes the pressure off of dudes who feel like they need to start the conversation every time. (We knew you were gonna ask, so yes, with same-sex matches either party can start things off.)
Matches expire after 24 hours so you can’t agonize over that opening line for too long, and your match list won’t be filled with people you forgot you matched with 57 weeks ago. This is clearly not the ideal setup for someone who wants to sit back and wait for the algorithm to have five hotties waiting each time the app is opened.
You’ll see pictures and short bios of potential matches in your area and can swipe depending on whether you’re interested. It’s a pretty close mock of Tinder, except for the fact that Bumble relieves the anxiety of accidentally swiping left on a hottie by letting you backtrack. Bumble also offers a BFF feature to find strictly platonic friends and a LinkedIn-ish networking feature called Bizz in attempts to remind everyone that it’s not just a hookup app.
Filtering by zodiac sign is also a thing as of 2019. The internet is divided over whether this will actually help you find people you’d get along with, as the feature only incorporates sun signs and anyone with basic astrology knowledge knows that sun signs aren’t a tell-all. However, if someone just went through a messy breakup with a Virgo, they have the right to not want to mess with a Virgo for a while.
Matches expire after 24 hours so you can’t agonize over that opening line for too long, and your match list won’t be filled with people you forgot you matched with 57 weeks ago. This is clearly not the ideal setup for someone who wants to sit back and wait for the algorithm to have five hotties waiting each time the app is opened.
You’ll see pictures and short bios of potential matches in your area and can swipe depending on whether you’re interested. It’s a pretty close mock of Tinder, except for the fact that Bumble relieves the anxiety of accidentally swiping left on a hottie by letting you backtrack. Bumble also offers a BFF feature to find strictly platonic friends and a LinkedIn-ish networking feature called Bizz in attempts to remind everyone that it’s not just a hookup app.
Filtering by zodiac sign is also a thing as of 2019. The internet is divided over whether this will actually help you find people you’d get along with, as the feature only incorporates sun signs and anyone with basic astrology knowledge knows that sun signs aren’t a tell-all. However, if someone just went through a messy breakup with a Virgo, they have the right to not want to mess with a Virgo for a while.
Designed by queer women, for queer women • Involvement in local queer events • Special place in bio for sexuality and pronouns • Four million users and growing quickly
Recycling of same few profiles in small towns • Occasional biphobia and “gold star lesbian” seekers • No algorithm past age and location
HER is a rapidly-growing space for queer women to make real connections while avoiding unicorn hunters.
HER
A queer women-only app that will introduce you to tons of lesbians you didn’t even know existed.-
Free version:
Yes -
One month of HER Premium:
$14.99 -
Six months of HER Premium:
$11.99/month -
One year of HER Premium:
$7.49/month
Between creepy men who fetishize lesbians pretending to be women and straight girls looking for another girl to have a threesome with her and her boyfriend, most heteronormative dating sites don’t give bi or queer women a great shot at finding a relationship. HER, an award-winning app made for queer women by queer women, is the perfect place to go if you’re tired of the only lesbian you know being your ex-girlfriend.
The app that wants to “introduce you to every lesbian you’ve ever wanted to meet” is growing rapidly: HER has grown to 4.5 million users since 2015, and according to Statista, that’s pretty damn close to what Bumble is working with — and they’re ALL. WOMEN. If you tried HER a few years ago and were discouraged by swiping through the same people, your experience will be much improved this time around.
In summer 2019, HER revamped its minimalist profiles to let users get more creative in categories like gender, sexuality, pronouns, diet preferences, and star signs, as well as a “What does this mean?” field in the sex, gender, and pronoun categories to create more well-rounded understanding of identity. There’s also a space for a text bio where you can showcase your sense of humor and describe what type of relationship you’re looking for.
The lack of any real science behind the matches past age and location is a bummer, but unlike Tinder, this doesn’t mean you’ll be suffocated with a hookup vibe. (Actually, a few users have said there are too many people complaining about being single on the app.) Searching #wemetonHER on Instagram should be all the beautiful, adorable success story proof that you need.
The app that wants to “introduce you to every lesbian you’ve ever wanted to meet” is growing rapidly: HER has grown to 4.5 million users since 2015, and according to Statista, that’s pretty damn close to what Bumble is working with — and they’re ALL. WOMEN. If you tried HER a few years ago and were discouraged by swiping through the same people, your experience will be much improved this time around.
In summer 2019, HER revamped its minimalist profiles to let users get more creative in categories like gender, sexuality, pronouns, diet preferences, and star signs, as well as a “What does this mean?” field in the sex, gender, and pronoun categories to create more well-rounded understanding of identity. There’s also a space for a text bio where you can showcase your sense of humor and describe what type of relationship you’re looking for.
The lack of any real science behind the matches past age and location is a bummer, but unlike Tinder, this doesn’t mean you’ll be suffocated with a hookup vibe. (Actually, a few users have said there are too many people complaining about being single on the app.) Searching #wemetonHER on Instagram should be all the beautiful, adorable success story proof that you need.
Users let you know exactly what kind of relationship they want • Can find a date within the hour • Tons of men online 24/7, even in rural areas • Grindr for Equality campaign focuses on LGBTQ+ advocacy
Bots and performance issues • Level of NSFW is jarring • Occasional biphobia and hate toward queer women on the app • Reports of data breaches
Men having trouble connecting with other men on Tinder are basically guaranteed a meetup in this atmosphere.
Grindr
Putting “bi” in your profile might get you some hate here, but it’s also a place to meet experienced men.-
Free version:
Yes -
One month of Grindr XTRA:
$14.99 -
Six months of Grindr XTRA:
$8.50/month -
One year of Grindr XTRA:
$6.50/month
With Chappy shutting down in Feb. 2019, there aren’t many apps specifically for gay or bisexual men that aren’t some iteration of Grindr’s ab pic and dick pic-filled feed. But even after a decade of the same horny agenda, Grindr remains a go-to for instantaneous location-based hookups for gay and bi men.
Going into it, bisexual men probably have an idea of what’s coming on Grindr: nudity, pushy messages asking for nudity, and though it says it’s an app for all queer people, probably not many women. But finding and meeting up with men on Tinder or OkCupid isn’t always quick, especially if you’re in a small town with a meager queer community. Whether it’s your first time with a guy and you want someone experienced or you’re the experienced once simply looking for a quick hookup with a man, it’s nice to have Grindr in your back pocket.
That’s not to say it’s not for relationships — one of my good friends met his current boyfriend on Grindr — but on a surface level, it’s ideal for quick, casual encounters. However, the Grindr for Equality campaign takes the app past being a simple hookup facilitator by advocating for sexual health and the safety of LGBTQ+ people in unsafe countries.
The main complaint from bisexual people about Grindr isn’t that it’s aggressively horny or 99% men. It’s the biphobia. This entire thread of Reddit users have experienced it in some way, describing the disappointment they feel from not being supported by their LGBTQ+ community and getting messages like “vaginas are gross” at the first mention of being bisexual or anything that’s not strictly gay. Grindr is technically advertised toward LGBTQ+ women as well, but because of the atmosphere on the app, they’re few and far between.
Going into it, bisexual men probably have an idea of what’s coming on Grindr: nudity, pushy messages asking for nudity, and though it says it’s an app for all queer people, probably not many women. But finding and meeting up with men on Tinder or OkCupid isn’t always quick, especially if you’re in a small town with a meager queer community. Whether it’s your first time with a guy and you want someone experienced or you’re the experienced once simply looking for a quick hookup with a man, it’s nice to have Grindr in your back pocket.
That’s not to say it’s not for relationships — one of my good friends met his current boyfriend on Grindr — but on a surface level, it’s ideal for quick, casual encounters. However, the Grindr for Equality campaign takes the app past being a simple hookup facilitator by advocating for sexual health and the safety of LGBTQ+ people in unsafe countries.
The main complaint from bisexual people about Grindr isn’t that it’s aggressively horny or 99% men. It’s the biphobia. This entire thread of Reddit users have experienced it in some way, describing the disappointment they feel from not being supported by their LGBTQ+ community and getting messages like “vaginas are gross” at the first mention of being bisexual or anything that’s not strictly gay. Grindr is technically advertised toward LGBTQ+ women as well, but because of the atmosphere on the app, they’re few and far between.
Clear and easy to navigate • Made for older people who want to meet older people without fishing through eharmony
The site doesn’t reveal premium prices until you sign up • Expensive • No support for non-binary users
SilverSingles is a good option for those with limited internet experience who only want to meet people their age.
SilverSingles
If you’re tired of fishing through eharmony’s age filters, SilverSingles is dedicated to those looking for romance later in life.-
Free version:
Yes -
Three months:
$44.95/month -
Six months:
$34.95/month -
One year:
$24.95/month
Dating over 50 means that, more than likely, this is your second or third attempt at love. When Match or eharmony’s user bases still pose too much of a never-married-with-no-kids crowd, SilverSingles is here to let you know that putting yourself back out there doesn’t have to be scary.
You’re not alone: 50% of marriages in the US end in divorce. It’s no surprise that many men and women are finding themselves in the online dating world during their golden years. Because SilverSingles wants to ensure that your next relationship is your happily ever after, the sign-up process and questionnaires will take a good bit of time to asses the type of partner you are. The site will use your info to send you five of its best matches per day.
A sister site to EliteSingles, SilverSingles uses the same intense compatibility system that EliteSingles does, bringing in the popular big five personality traits to assess five levels of your being: openness to experience, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. If you’ve heard of Senior Singles Meet in the past, SilverSingles is that same site with a rebrand — so they’ve actually been working on mastering the five factor model in tandem with senior dating for about two decades.
If you were worried about online dating because of the whole “technology” thing, don’t worry. The site is easy to navigate and clearly lays out the path to a premium membership, which will get you unlimited messaging with matches among other convenient features. Creeps are weeded out by a high-end verification process and you can report any user who’s acting suspicious or inappropriate.
You’re not alone: 50% of marriages in the US end in divorce. It’s no surprise that many men and women are finding themselves in the online dating world during their golden years. Because SilverSingles wants to ensure that your next relationship is your happily ever after, the sign-up process and questionnaires will take a good bit of time to asses the type of partner you are. The site will use your info to send you five of its best matches per day.
A sister site to EliteSingles, SilverSingles uses the same intense compatibility system that EliteSingles does, bringing in the popular big five personality traits to assess five levels of your being: openness to experience, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. If you’ve heard of Senior Singles Meet in the past, SilverSingles is that same site with a rebrand — so they’ve actually been working on mastering the five factor model in tandem with senior dating for about two decades.
If you were worried about online dating because of the whole “technology” thing, don’t worry. The site is easy to navigate and clearly lays out the path to a premium membership, which will get you unlimited messaging with matches among other convenient features. Creeps are weeded out by a high-end verification process and you can report any user who’s acting suspicious or inappropriate.
Matchmaking based on subconscious swiping behavior • Huge variety of people
Potential to be hit with random fees • Profile views might be inflated to make you feel better • Too many dead or spam profiles
Zoosk is boring but could expand your horizons if you’re tired of the same Match users popping up.
Zoosk
Matchmaking that follows your swipe patterns doesn’t make up for a bland questionnaire and a spammy feed.-
Free version:
Yes -
One month:
$29.95/month -
Three months:
$19.98/month -
Six months:
$12.49/month
What initially began as a Facebook app developed in 2007 has grown into a company with 35 million users in more than 80 countries. Rather than asking its users for dating questions, Zoosk picks dates for its users based on quick questions about physical appearance and religion, and then keeps tabs on who you talk to the most to get a better idea of what you’re after. There are a lot of flirty little ways to spark a conversation without having to actually give an opening line, but you’ll know next to nothing about the person going into it.
When Zoosk switched from a social media app to a legit dating site, it was more or less in a league of its own. Incorporating “liking” photos and having a similar look as a Facebook feed was super attractive to young, single people… in the early 2000s. The problem is that Zoosk hasn’t changed much since then. It’s plain, riddled with dead or fake profiles, and and there certainly aren’t any modern tweaks like OkCupid’s politics-related ice breakers or Match’s overhauled questionnaire. Despite ads being everywhere, people started opting for Match Group’s offerings with more premium designs, less messy email notifications, and algorithms that take your personality type into account.
Zoosk is free to sign up, but you’ll need a paid subscription to do basically anything. Not only is there a fee on the end of every message, but Reddit users complain about random charges to their account and ignored requests to cancel their subscriptions. The company also uses its own form of currency called “Zoosk coins” that are available for purchase. Daters can use these for features like adding a “boost” to their own profiles in search or sending another user a virtual gift like roses. The whole coin system feels less like romance and more like you’re playing some sort of pop-up ad game, but they’re there.
When Zoosk switched from a social media app to a legit dating site, it was more or less in a league of its own. Incorporating “liking” photos and having a similar look as a Facebook feed was super attractive to young, single people… in the early 2000s. The problem is that Zoosk hasn’t changed much since then. It’s plain, riddled with dead or fake profiles, and and there certainly aren’t any modern tweaks like OkCupid’s politics-related ice breakers or Match’s overhauled questionnaire. Despite ads being everywhere, people started opting for Match Group’s offerings with more premium designs, less messy email notifications, and algorithms that take your personality type into account.
Zoosk is free to sign up, but you’ll need a paid subscription to do basically anything. Not only is there a fee on the end of every message, but Reddit users complain about random charges to their account and ignored requests to cancel their subscriptions. The company also uses its own form of currency called “Zoosk coins” that are available for purchase. Daters can use these for features like adding a “boost” to their own profiles in search or sending another user a virtual gift like roses. The whole coin system feels less like romance and more like you’re playing some sort of pop-up ad game, but they’re there.
These dating sites aren’t necessarily reliable, but they do exist
Those listed above might have the crowds and fancy updates, but some people just find them more overwhelming than helpful. If you’ve tried one of the more popular sites and are itching to switch it up, these alternatives might bring something new to the table.
Huge number of users • Google Home integration • You can do a lot without paying
Not bisexual friendly • Sketchy history with data breaches • Number of active users has dwindled due to competition • Hella outdated layout
A long-time contender, POF has grown a huge user base without raising prices — but the cheapness shows.
Plenty of Fish
It’s rare to find a full site where most features are free, but the lack of safety features or a modern design is its downfall.-
Free version:
Yes -
Two months:
$19.35/month -
Four months:
$12.75/month -
Eight months:
$9.99/month
If we’re being blunt, Plenty of Fish is probably one of the least memorable dating sites you’ll see. It’s plain, doesn’t use a remarkable algorithm, and communication is done through regular messaging. But there’s a reason the site boasts 4 million daily active users who send one billion messages per month (or so they say): It’s easy, extremely straightforward, and pretty much completely free.
Some of those users may have dropped off in recent years due to POF’s issues with privacy. In Dec. 2019, the app was caught leaking users’ personal info like photos and postal codes even after those profiles had been set to private. There have also been a handful of robberies and assaults reportedly linked to Plenty of Fish users meeting up with owners of fake profiles. Such a lack of safety features is an especially worrisome crack in the pipes for users who had purposefully set their profiles to private after the website banned selfies with filters like Snapchat’s infamous dog ears.
After registering for POF, hopeful daters take a personality test that then helps POF determine what they call “your relationship needs.” While many dating sites tend to gloss over some of your criteria in order to find more people you may like, POF gives the “needs” option to at least lay down some dealbreakers. Profile building also investigates more fun points like whether you’re a cat or a dog person or whether you grew up as the oldest or youngest sibling. You know, the personality quirks that deep questionnaires about honesty just can’t extract.
Claiming to be “the only 100% free dating site” is definitely POF’s biggest bait for new users. But like any modern-day realist will tell you, nothing is free. You’ll still have to pay for upgrades like tokens, which let users “highlight” their profiles so they stand out to other users or send a “super yes” to users they’re particularly interested in. However, POF does deserve some credit for being a full-service desktop site that doesn’t make you pay to message or see who has messaged you.
Some of those users may have dropped off in recent years due to POF’s issues with privacy. In Dec. 2019, the app was caught leaking users’ personal info like photos and postal codes even after those profiles had been set to private. There have also been a handful of robberies and assaults reportedly linked to Plenty of Fish users meeting up with owners of fake profiles. Such a lack of safety features is an especially worrisome crack in the pipes for users who had purposefully set their profiles to private after the website banned selfies with filters like Snapchat’s infamous dog ears.
After registering for POF, hopeful daters take a personality test that then helps POF determine what they call “your relationship needs.” While many dating sites tend to gloss over some of your criteria in order to find more people you may like, POF gives the “needs” option to at least lay down some dealbreakers. Profile building also investigates more fun points like whether you’re a cat or a dog person or whether you grew up as the oldest or youngest sibling. You know, the personality quirks that deep questionnaires about honesty just can’t extract.
Claiming to be “the only 100% free dating site” is definitely POF’s biggest bait for new users. But like any modern-day realist will tell you, nothing is free. You’ll still have to pay for upgrades like tokens, which let users “highlight” their profiles so they stand out to other users or send a “super yes” to users they’re particularly interested in. However, POF does deserve some credit for being a full-service desktop site that doesn’t make you pay to message or see who has messaged you.
Totally dedicated to swingers • Millions of active profiles
Pricey • Layout is outdated and kinda crappy • No app
99 Flavors cuts the small talk and makes it easy for couples to find new playmates.
99 Flavors
This swingers site lets couples add more *flavor* to the bedroom by signing up and hunting for matches together.-
One month:
$39.95 -
Three months:
$80.85 ($26.95 per month) -
12 months:
$239.40 ($19.95 per month)
Couples spicing things up with the help of another couple is way more common than people think, despite what Tinder may lead you to believe. When you advertise as a swinger on such a mainstream app, most of the bites you’ll get are people looking for a threesome or people who don’t quite understand the “partner swapping” concept.
If you’re tired of explaining the setup you want, it’s time to make the switch to a site devoted to swinging. Opt for 99 Flavors, where everyone knows what’s up and isn’t afraid to make the first move.
Signing up as a couple has its benefits: The other users instantly know who’s involved and if it’s something they’re interested in, both of you can search for partners, and both of you can participate in video chats and sexting. 99 Flavor’s thing is that it’s always couples talking to couples — so there don’t have to be any “Oh yeah, my girlfriend is also here,” type conversations that are almost inevitable on singles’ apps.
Sign-up is quick, with simple questions like sexual orientation. But be warned: Once you confirm your email address and choose a subscription plan, you will see genitals everywhere. It’s your average ad-ridden splatter of nether region close-ups and X-rated self-timer photos — but hey, some people want that. Let’s just hope you like it enough to pay $20 a month for it.
Member profiles can be extremely detailed and there are about 93 million active profiles, so finding a match that’s down for whatever won’t take long — no matter what time it is. You can use the instant message function, exchange photos and videos, video chat, or save the dirty stuff for a meet-up IRL.
Blogs are a sort of public forum for users • More personal than Grindr
Serious lack of users • Looks more like an ad than a dating site • No app
Looking for a silver fox? Gay Friend Finder is like a less populated but more mature Grindr.
Gay Friend Finder
You won’t find a hookup within the hour, but this is a mature alternative for those who feel Grindr is too impersonal.-
Free version:
Yes -
One month of Silver:
$22.99 per month -
Three months of Silver:
$41.97 ($13.99 per month) -
12 months of Silver:
$107.88 ($8.99 per month) -
One month of Gold:
$34.99 -
Three months of Gold:
$41.97 ($13.99 per month) -
12 months of Gold:
$95.88 ($7.99 per month)
Grindr’s massive user base and focus on finding local hookups make it almost untouchable, but the lack of profile details and impersonal conversations get old fast. Just because you’re looking for a hookup does not mean that you want to be greeted with a dick pic. Gay Friend Finder is a slightly outdated but much slower-paced alternative for gay men who want to hook up, but still like to see a profile with some personality.
In business since 1996, Gay Friend Finder is one of the OGs in connecting local gay men — whether that be singles, couples, or groups. Unlike Grindr, which has at least five matches for you at any given time of the day, Gay Friend Finder’s user base is a bit of a desert. With an active user base of under 50,000 men, don’t get your hopes up about an immediate hookup. However, the small circle of men who do have profiles are mature (the majority are 30 or older), and may be more likely to want an ongoing friends-with-benefits thing than a mindless booty call. It’s a good thing there aren’t many users to fish through, because filtering options are almost non-existent.
For a site that’s lacking in numbers, community is huge on Gay Friend Finder. Relatively in-depth user profiles, a collection of original blogs, and ways to interact other than private messaging give users a chance to bond with other gay men in a way that strictly hookup-oriented sites don’t bother with. But don’t worry — there’s still plenty of heart rate-raising material here.
In business since 1996, Gay Friend Finder is one of the OGs in connecting local gay men — whether that be singles, couples, or groups. Unlike Grindr, which has at least five matches for you at any given time of the day, Gay Friend Finder’s user base is a bit of a desert. With an active user base of under 50,000 men, don’t get your hopes up about an immediate hookup. However, the small circle of men who do have profiles are mature (the majority are 30 or older), and may be more likely to want an ongoing friends-with-benefits thing than a mindless booty call. It’s a good thing there aren’t many users to fish through, because filtering options are almost non-existent.
For a site that’s lacking in numbers, community is huge on Gay Friend Finder. Relatively in-depth user profiles, a collection of original blogs, and ways to interact other than private messaging give users a chance to bond with other gay men in a way that strictly hookup-oriented sites don’t bother with. But don’t worry — there’s still plenty of heart rate-raising material here.