The concept of the safe space is not new, and they’ve seen many iterations in the last 50+ years. But this decade in particular has seen a rise in the prestige space for women and moms — pitched as both sanctuary and sorority, with sometimes steep membership fees but myriad perks and motivators. They seem to promise connection with open, like-minded people on topics from the workplace to breastfeeding to COVID-19-related isolation; a way to bond over shared struggles without having to censor or filter themselves. Unfortunately, by ignoring intersectionality and diversity in particular, these groups can also become highly exclusionary, ultimately reifying codes of white supremacy.
It’s why many of these “havens” are facing a moment of reckoning amid the Black Lives Matter movement. From The Wing (and its various locations), to International MOMS Club, to Facebook’s UES Mommas, groups have been unveiled as sources of white defensiveness and racism, from censorship to tokenism to silencing among their many problems. In the centennial year of women’s suffrage, the erasure of Black women and women of color continues to extend to communities that should uplift all women.
But it’s not all bad news. Some spaces haven’t just avoided bad press: They’ve built diversity and inclusion into their framework and are now actively engaged in the tough work of coming together to respond to systemic racism, using an intersectional approach.
One of those spaces is The Jane Club, which originally launched as an incubator in May 2018 with investment support from “Original Janes,” including comedian Tig Notaro, and actors Casey Wilson, Joanna Garcia, Kelis, and Kulap Vilaysack. The majority of Original Janes were first-time investors and women of color; founders designed the Club to be a “matriarchal oasis”: womxn (defined as anyone who identifies as one) and their allies, including men, could have access to the space. Members’ children would be taken care of so they could learn, connect, and practice self-care while transitioning back to work.
The founders realized they were filling an important need when the Jane Club outgrew the incubator space – which could house 80 Janes and about 20 children full-time – in about six months without any advertising. Their L.A. flagship opened in March 2019, just in time for coronavirus to put an end to in-person contact for the foreseeable future, so the Club fast-tracked “The Connected Jane,” live online programming that includes book clubs, teach-ins on race, gender, and justice, workouts, classes, and Zoom cocktail parties
In-person membership will start at $300 a month when The Jane Club reopens. Membership will include spa resources (mani/pedi/blowouts), daycare, workout sessions, meditation, meals, events, and classes.
“we were very clear that we wanted … to be a space of equity and inclusion and to bring it all together in a meaningful way”
So how, exactly, have they avoided the pitfalls? How are they building an inclusive, dynamic community without sacrificing their commitment to racial justice or marginalizing people in the process, while still running a successful business?
Set Up Accountability Structures
Neelamjit Dhaliwal, the Club’s Chief Equity and Inclusion Officer, is a former math educator, National SEED Project facilitator, and managing partner for her family’s business. “When The Jane Club first opened, I was in a position in my life where I couldn’t afford a membership, but I needed a space, and it was immediately offered up to me. In exchange, I brought in DEI [diversity, equity, and inclusion] programming,” she says.
At the L.A.-based Feminists in Action, Dhaliwal had met Club cofounder June Diane Raphael: actor on Grace and Frankie and The High Note, coauthor of Represent: The Woman’s Guide to Running for Office and Changing the World, activist devoted to fighting the climate crisis, and mom of two.
The work and structure of Feminists in Action draws inspiration from Black Lives Matter by spotlighting and enabling caretakers. These women may care for children, parents, or friends, and many of them are unpaid; Feminists in Action encourages caretakers to participate and lead. This inspired The Jane Club — the first organization Dhaliwal says she’s worked with that empowers a DEI role to institute functional changes.
Dhaliwal, who came to the Club in November 2019, implemented nine community agreements in May 2020. Among them: Seek justice, center learning, practice consent, and consider confidentiality (“what’s said here stays here…what’s learned here leaves here”). Every Jane must acknowledge them before becoming a member.
DEI offerings have a strong justice element, with diverse guests and workshops with important questions about privilege, dismantling white supremacy, and finding joy in justice work. A weekly “Jane Curation” email offers resources, perspectives, and inspiration to continue the practice.
Accountability extends to the top. DEI work may have been built into the foundation, says Raphael, “but as I look back, I also see mistakes we’ve made in this area, and wish we could have put more of an investment from the beginning. I certainly don’t feel as though that work is done or that it was done well enough. A part of the foundation, that I’m very proud of, is constantly questioning that.”
She adds, “Our initial fundraising focused on women of color investors. But when I look back on the early interest in The Jane Club (from customers) we were still predominantly attracting white women. Although doing racial identity work and education around racial justice has always been a part of our programming, I wish that we’d done more specific outreach and marketing to BIPOC women. I wish that we’d set diversity and equity goal marks.”
The work doesn’t end with adult members, either. Chief Kid Officer Chudney Ross (daughter of Diana, owner of bookstore/enrichment center Books and Cookies, former elementary teacher and mom of two), was tapped by a Club cofounder to build The Nest, previously in-person childcare and now video programming for young kids.
“When creating The Nest, we were very clear that we wanted to have a diverse book and toy collection, to be a space of equity and inclusion and to bring it all together in a meaningful way appropriate for very small children,” Ross says.
Discuss, Reflect, Learn, Practice
Racial affinity work at the Jane Club began in September 2019 – particularly affinity groups, where people with a common background join together to speak openly and find support. Currently, there’s a black racial affinity space, a white anti-racist racial affinity space, and a non-black people of color space. To date, the groups have met several times and are now ongoing, and they include digital messaging spaces too. The goal is to congregate and reflect on racial divisions that exist, in order to then address systemic racism in multiracial spaces – in other words, that one does not stay in one’s affinity space, but uses the lessons out in the world.
“There’s a kind of good-bad binary, a sense of perfectionism, and a fear that we’re going to get it wrong when talking about racism. The way that white supremacy works is it doesn’t give us the skills to be effective at these conversations. So they’re going to be messy. Building that capacity is critical—I describe it as racial endurance,” explains Dhaliwal.
“It’s impossible to have a space that harm cannot occur in the system we’re in right now. How are we going to show up? How are we going to attend to justice when harm is caused? We’re focused on making sure that our members have that space to call for the justice they need.”
Raphael, who’s part of the white affinity space, says the work has been life-changing. “…having that work available in a separate space where one can put voice to fears, questions, anxiety, and not do harm to people of color is incredibly important…The work has come with me through so many more hours of the day.”
The affinity groups are still small, so “a challenge sometimes can be that we can’t really get into deeper, richer conversations about racial justice in cross-racial dialogue without work that happens in racial affinity spaces,” says Dhaliwal. “Without these spaces, sometimes one voice becomes the voice.”
Yet, she adds, they’re still critical. “For a lot of folks of color, there’s a paralysis around racial trauma that can be explored in racial affinity…It’s to open up, name it, and heal it as best as possible, and then to provide the tools to say: ‘That thing that happened to you wasn’t right. It’s not your fault.’ Then to intentionally name that so that when they are in predominantly white spaces, which is a lot of the time, they can center their healing, and not center the comfort of white people.”
There’s been increased interest in supporting Black-owned businesses and diversifying their kids’ libraries and toys. “All of this is very important, and we’re hoping that our programming supports and adds to that,” says Ross. “We’re choosing diverse books to be read and shared in the activities that we offer in the hope of provoking thought and conversation that can then be shared at home.”
“The work of justice takes time. It takes resources. It takes focus.”
Look Forward for More Opportunities
Recent large-scale activism around social and racial justice — Dhaliwal calls it “a moment within a movement” — needs to be followed up with long-term systemic change. Other women’s clubs are slowly evolving, too. All-women spaces including The Wing and the more inclusive New Woman Space began offering online programming. The Wing recently instituted a code of conduct for members.
The Jane Club, meanwhile, is continuing to expand. There are now more than 350 Connected Janes in 30 states, three different countries, and counting; The service has grown by 425% since March.
Although one of the original aims of the Club was to work with other businesses to build mini-Jane Clubs as corporate campuses, their focus is now on building on the momentum of their online community.
Raphael acknowledges that it’s a “delicate dance” among honoring Original Janes’ investment, paying employees a liveable wage, and also continuing to do the work of justice and inclusion, rather than simply co-opting feminism/anti-racism in branding.
As Dhaliwal notes: “The work of justice takes time. It takes resources. It takes focus.” The Jane Club’s doing all three.