Cereal is in a rut and John Oliver is coming to its rescue.
The host of Last Week Tonight took Memorial Day week off and went on YouTube to wax poetic on a topic he’s especially passionate about: cereal.
“I’m aware that there’s a lot going on in the world right now, but instead of focusing on any of that I’d like to raise a subject that is near and dear to my heart, and that is, there simply aren’t enough cereals,” Oliver stated in a fiery seven-minute video.
The host went on to voice his concerns about a lack of new cereals, exciting cereal-related news, and good cereal commercials in the past decade, though he did shout out one good Frosted Flakes commercial starring Shaquille O’Neal.
Ultimately, Oliver concluded that “cereals aren’t even trying,” and he proceeded to drag the official Cheerios Twitter account before making a bold proposition. The late night host promised to donate $25,000 to the charity of Cheerios’ choice if the account tweets “Fuck You.” He even said he’ll double the donation if Cheerios tweets “Fuck You” at a random, non-famous Twitter user.
This man is not playing around when it comes to his beloved breakfast food.
The host simply can’t comprehend the troubling lack of cereal innovation in the world right now. And while the cereal makers out there are clearly at a loss for ideas, Oliver isn’t. The cereal enthusiast spitballed a few innovations of his own and suggested we make an existing cereal blue, create a Gushers cereal, make a nighttime cereal, a Lego cereal, a mystery box cereal, or a cereal for goth kids.
Before Oliver logged off for the week he challenged cereal companies around the world to step their games up and start creating.
“Is this what America needs right now? No. Is it what it wants? Yes,” he concluded.