Officially ready to find someone to spend forever with? Itching for something fun and casual after a breakup? Simply looking for someone to sext? Millions of other people are looking for the exact same thing as you — all you have to do is find the app they’re on. This guide breaks it down.
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Online dating as the mainstream way to meet your partner isn’t even news anymore. Nowadays, it’s more shocking to say “We met at a bar” than “We met on Hinge.”
Looking for love online comes with (antiquated) clichés, nervousness, and catfish paranoia, but is waiting around to randomly meet your soulmate in public any better?
According to this GQ article about Bumble, your chances of finding love on a night out in London are three in one million. (Don’t hit us with “but that’s not in the U.S.” excuse. Meeting people is hard everywhere). We love reality TV like The Bachelor/The Bachelorette and Love Island as much as the next person, but we can’t all put our full-time careers on hold to find a fiancé.
Consider our reasoning for Why Online Dating Is Worthwhile™: Statista predicted that the online dating audience will grow to 37.5 million in 2023, compared to 33.9 million users in 2018. (TechCrunch refers to this surge as the Tinder effect.) A study from Stanford released in 2019 asserted that online dating is officially the most common way for U.S. couples to meet, rounding out at nearly 40% of couples having first met online. (For reference, a late 2017 survey by The Knot found that their brides were more likely to meet their S.O. online than meet through friends, during college, or at work.) By 2040, it’s expected that 70% of couples will have met online — and that prediction came before social distancing-related spikes in dating app signups happened.
SEE ALSO: Online dating isn’t a game. It’s literally changing humanity.
You don’t need advice from a data analyst for these numbers to make sense. Technology is giving you the chance to meet thousands of nearby singles you’d never know existed otherwise, and using filters to hone in on those values, personality traits, and physical types can be done before you even meet the person IRL.
But that statistical promise still requires patience and a game plan, the game plan being choosing the dating app with features that best fit your lifestyle — and the lifestyle of the type of person you’re looking for. An app strictly for sex? An app more serious than Tinder but less serious than eharmony? An app where queer women aren’t relentlessly sexualized by creeps and pestered by unicorn hunters?
SEE ALSO: For finding a serious relationship, these dating sites are the bestThe convenience of dating without actually having to socialize is only heightened when it can be done through an app. And, because it’s not 2007 anymore, the need for mobile-friendly online dating that doesn’t require sitting at your home desktop isn’t just a young people thing. The ability to check out cute local single people (and Twitter, and emails, and the weather, and the ability to analyze the birth chart of every cute person you meet and subsequently pester for their birth chart info) while you’re in line at CVS is a seamless lifestyle integration that can’t be argued with. Dating sites that are older than most members of Gen-Z and were strictly accessed via web browsers in their prime (like Match and eharmony) have been forced to give serious attention to their smartphone counterparts if they don’t want to be outgrown.
But when it comes to choosing the dating that’ll work for you, remember that not all dating apps are good just because they’re, well, new. Every year, a slew of trendy apps try to set themselves apart from Tinder and Bumble: In 2017, apps like Hater (which matched people based on things they disliked, like vaping, slow walkers, or Donald Trump), and The League (a snooty, members-only matchmaker with a ridiculously long waitlist) were expected to be game changers. Hater has since disappeared from the App Store while The League’s reviews have gotten increasingly questionable. It’s hard to pinpoint the exact reason as to why such promising ideas didn’t make the cut — but whether they were too exclusive, too niche, or begging for catfish, it’s clear that there’s a very special (albeit unknown) ingredient that makes apps like Hinge pop off.
This handy guide breaks down what the deal is with each of these online dating experiences and who they’re best suited for. Here are the best dating apps to try in 2020:
Largest user base of any dating site • Clean and user friendly layout • IRL group events • App works on Apple Watch
Sifting through so many users takes time • Pricey • Endless emails from non-matches
A just-plain-fun happy medium for those who are tired of the lack of seriousness on Tinder but aren’t ready for eharmony.
Match
Everyone knows someone who’s on Match — because it offers a fun-yet-serious alternative to sites that are too marriage-focused.-
Free version:
Yes -
One month of Premium:
$35.99 -
Three months of Premium:
$19.99/month -
Six months of Premium:
$17.99/month -
One year of Premium:
$15.99/month
Who it’s for: People who trust experience over gimmicks and people who want *a lot* of options.
While many dating apps go overboard with obnoxious advertising (leading to an unfortunate desperation stigma), Match offers a sliver of hope: They guarantee that you’ll find someone in six months, and if you don’t, they’ll give you six months for free. Match has gained the trust of over 35 million unique monthly visitors, giving it the largest user base of any online dating site — it even sees over four million more monthly visitors than Tinder. Match loves to brag about their success stories on social media, providing you endless inspiration when your dating life looks grim.
Why it’s awesome: As one of the first online dating sites launched in 1995, Match has decades of data to back up their their algorithms — so no, it’s not just another one of those sites that you’ll forget about after a month. Match even uses your swipes to get a better idea of what you like to give you better matches in the future.
And guess what? These tried and true algorithms don’t require some long, tedious questionnaire. Aside from asking about your personal values and interests, Match allows you to specify what you want (or don’t want) in a partner and how important that is: If you’d prefer someone who doesn’t smoke cigarettes but it’s not a deal breaker, Match lets you specify that, and if you choose “This is a deal breaker,” they won’t give you potential matches that had that in their answers. It’s a super simple way to make sure you two at least somewhat on the same page with surface-level things, and can avoid those awkward conversations two months into the relationship. Finding someone who has the same values as you is just as important as finding an honest person and the rest of that mushy stuff.
While many dating apps go overboard with obnoxious advertising (leading to an unfortunate desperation stigma), Match offers a sliver of hope: They guarantee that you’ll find someone in six months, and if you don’t, they’ll give you six months for free. Match has gained the trust of over 35 million unique monthly visitors, giving it the largest user base of any online dating site — it even sees over four million more monthly visitors than Tinder. Match loves to brag about their success stories on social media, providing you endless inspiration when your dating life looks grim.
Why it’s awesome: As one of the first online dating sites launched in 1995, Match has decades of data to back up their their algorithms — so no, it’s not just another one of those sites that you’ll forget about after a month. Match even uses your swipes to get a better idea of what you like to give you better matches in the future.
And guess what? These tried and true algorithms don’t require some long, tedious questionnaire. Aside from asking about your personal values and interests, Match allows you to specify what you want (or don’t want) in a partner and how important that is: If you’d prefer someone who doesn’t smoke cigarettes but it’s not a deal breaker, Match lets you specify that, and if you choose “This is a deal breaker,” they won’t give you potential matches that had that in their answers. It’s a super simple way to make sure you two at least somewhat on the same page with surface-level things, and can avoid those awkward conversations two months into the relationship. Finding someone who has the same values as you is just as important as finding an honest person and the rest of that mushy stuff.
Limited scrolling rather than endless swiping • Massive, rapidly growing user base
Have to pay for unlimited matches • Only two gender options
The new go-to app for millennials to find a date that is way more thoughtful (and way less vulgar) than Tinder.
Hinge
A great post-breakup app, Hinge is a thoughtful combo of Tinder’s quick swiping and Match’s relationship base.-
Free version:
Yes -
One month of Hinge Preferred:
$12.99 -
Three months of Hinge Preferred:
$6.99/month -
Six months of Hinge Preferred:
$4.99/month
Who it’s for: Young people who want something a little more serious than casual dating, can’t stand the crowd on Tinder, but don’t want to commit to a full-fledged dating site with extensive questionnaires.
Why it’s awesome: Hinge marries the modern, instantaneous feel of swiping apps with the relationship atmosphere that sites like eharmony or Match offer. Hinge literally labels itself the relationship app, or as I prefer, the “anti Tinder.” You scroll like Instagram, creating a smoother (and less judge-y) feel than swiping. There’s a common understanding that this app isn’t just for sex, but there’s no pressure to rush into a relationship either. It’s chill, it’s legit, and traditional swiping apps should be worried.
Hinge started out by showing you Facebook friends of friends, but their algorithm is so smart that it has now surpassed friends of friends as a predictor of compatibility (AKA you won’t be matched with someone all wrong for you just because you have a mutual friend). Rather, Hinge helps you get to know the other person more deeply than any new app has attempted, revealing answers to juicy, detailed questions about things like future plans, religion, and vices. Seems like a good recipe for a connection past physical stuff, right? According to Hinge, 75% of their first dates lead to second dates, so it’s clearly working.
You only get a seven matches per day, and yes, we know having restricted matches can be a bummer — because having a day where none of your matches are appealing is a definite possibility. But Hinge isn’t meant for constant swiping, and everyone I know who uses Hinge has always felt 100% content with the free version. Having endless matches gets overwhelming, and if you’re trying to find a genuine connect, there’s no point to viciously rushing through every person in a 50 mile radius.
Why it’s awesome: Hinge marries the modern, instantaneous feel of swiping apps with the relationship atmosphere that sites like eharmony or Match offer. Hinge literally labels itself the relationship app, or as I prefer, the “anti Tinder.” You scroll like Instagram, creating a smoother (and less judge-y) feel than swiping. There’s a common understanding that this app isn’t just for sex, but there’s no pressure to rush into a relationship either. It’s chill, it’s legit, and traditional swiping apps should be worried.
Hinge started out by showing you Facebook friends of friends, but their algorithm is so smart that it has now surpassed friends of friends as a predictor of compatibility (AKA you won’t be matched with someone all wrong for you just because you have a mutual friend). Rather, Hinge helps you get to know the other person more deeply than any new app has attempted, revealing answers to juicy, detailed questions about things like future plans, religion, and vices. Seems like a good recipe for a connection past physical stuff, right? According to Hinge, 75% of their first dates lead to second dates, so it’s clearly working.
You only get a seven matches per day, and yes, we know having restricted matches can be a bummer — because having a day where none of your matches are appealing is a definite possibility. But Hinge isn’t meant for constant swiping, and everyone I know who uses Hinge has always felt 100% content with the free version. Having endless matches gets overwhelming, and if you’re trying to find a genuine connect, there’s no point to viciously rushing through every person in a 50 mile radius.
Extremely queer-friendly and inclusive • Sturdy user base • Profile building is fun
Have to pay for best features • Inconsistent rules
OkCupid goes above and beyond with unique, non-corny questions that make profile building fun and matchmaking more logical.
OkCupid
Multi-faceted matchmaking and its *woke* vibe help you meet like-minded individuals in a low stakes setting.-
Free version:
Yes -
One month of A-List:
$9.95/month -
Three months A-List :
$7.95/month -
Six months of A-List:
$6.95/month
Who it’s for: Everyone who wants to ease into online dating but wouldn’t be caught dead on Tinder. And by everyone, we mean it: OkCupid offers 12 gender identities and 20 sexual orientations, so no one is forced to choose a pronoun they’re not comfortable with. (We will say it’s not for ultra conservative people — you’ll see why later.)
Why it’s awesome: It’s the ideal place to come when you’re ready to settle down but still want to feel ~hip~ and have fun. First things first: OkCupid‘s advertising is astounding. Its newest ads redefine “DTF” in colorful graphics that depict same sex couples as well as hetero couples, and it truly makes online dating seem like way less of a cliche. Along with the fact that it has gained a trusted rep by being one of the first dating sites ever (2004 to be exact), OkCupid has won the hearts of millennial and mature singles alike. But don’t let their love of raunchy internet slang make you put them in the “hookup” category —OkCupid is still a serious space, and most users are genuinely putting effort into finding lasting connections.
Similar to other traditional players, OKCupid has in-depth user bios, but profile building isn’t long or tedious at all — the questions are smart (and not mushy) and they’re genuinely fun to answer. It does use swiping like Tinder, but you have a lot more to go off of than a lame bio and a selfie. You’ll even get to see the percentage of how much you have in common based on question answers (and how much you don’t). Speaking of questions, OkCupid has some that you won’t see anywhere else: The same-sex couple ads are an obvious giveaway, but OkCupid has snuck in questions to weed out more conservative-minded people as a way to tell right off the bat if your potential match leans left or right. (It’s not perfect, but it’ll help meeting in person go a lot smoother.) Liberal ladies found that this worked to their advantage, as OkCupid released statistics showing that liberal-leaning answers to those questions made you 80% more likely to find love on the site. The entire site’s ethos is built around numbers, and it’s nice to know they can actually back up their algorithms.
You’ll have to subscribe to the A-List for more in-depth features like Double Take, but the fee isn’t steep at all. Sign up here.
Why it’s awesome: It’s the ideal place to come when you’re ready to settle down but still want to feel ~hip~ and have fun. First things first: OkCupid‘s advertising is astounding. Its newest ads redefine “DTF” in colorful graphics that depict same sex couples as well as hetero couples, and it truly makes online dating seem like way less of a cliche. Along with the fact that it has gained a trusted rep by being one of the first dating sites ever (2004 to be exact), OkCupid has won the hearts of millennial and mature singles alike. But don’t let their love of raunchy internet slang make you put them in the “hookup” category —OkCupid is still a serious space, and most users are genuinely putting effort into finding lasting connections.
Similar to other traditional players, OKCupid has in-depth user bios, but profile building isn’t long or tedious at all — the questions are smart (and not mushy) and they’re genuinely fun to answer. It does use swiping like Tinder, but you have a lot more to go off of than a lame bio and a selfie. You’ll even get to see the percentage of how much you have in common based on question answers (and how much you don’t). Speaking of questions, OkCupid has some that you won’t see anywhere else: The same-sex couple ads are an obvious giveaway, but OkCupid has snuck in questions to weed out more conservative-minded people as a way to tell right off the bat if your potential match leans left or right. (It’s not perfect, but it’ll help meeting in person go a lot smoother.) Liberal ladies found that this worked to their advantage, as OkCupid released statistics showing that liberal-leaning answers to those questions made you 80% more likely to find love on the site. The entire site’s ethos is built around numbers, and it’s nice to know they can actually back up their algorithms.
You’ll have to subscribe to the A-List for more in-depth features like Double Take, but the fee isn’t steep at all. Sign up here.
Low chance of vulgar messages • Compatibility score shown for each potential match • High success rate speaks for itself • Users make it obvious that they’re ready to settle down
Historically not LGBTQ-friendly • No support for non-binary users • Too many messages from non-matches
Settling down is the goal at eharmony, one of the most trusted dating sites with a great success rate.
eharmony
Marriage-minded folks flock to eharmony for its success rate and its comprehensive compatibility score.-
Free version:
Yes -
Six months of Premium:
$59.90/month -
One year of Premium:
$35.90/month -
Two years of Premium:
$25.90/month
Who it’s for: People trying to marry the next person they date.
Why it’s awesome: When you think of eharmony, you probably think of marriage. And so does everyone else — that’s the point. The fact that it accounts for 4% of marriages in the US (as of 2018) speaks for itself. Putting the best, most honest picture of yourself out there requires some real introspection when taking the compatibility quiz and answering the open-ended questions, but that’s the whole reason people sign up for eharmony over Zoosk.
Perhaps you’ve noticed a logo change in the past few years: A measure to ensure that its established, decades-old name didn’t get lost in the sea of new dating apps, eharmony’s new logo is a heart with a colorful palette that represents the site’s 32 dimensions of compatibility. These range from agreeableness (how warm and considerate you are) to altruism (how much you’re willing to help others), all judged by how you answer hypothetical questions where the “correct” answer isn’t obvious. The questionnaire has also been trimmed of the uselessly mushy questions about soulmates and self-ranking questions about honesty that are way too exaggerated. Instead of the deep questions that only look good on paper, eharmony’s dive into how you’d act in a relationship is more realistic and tangible. Remember to be honest: Admitting that you’re not as mature in a certain area is key to eharmony matching you with someone who complements you.
The identity change was also accompanied by a new UX design for the app — a must for any dating site looking to attract users under 30. The interface is less jumbled than it was was a few years ago, with different ways to flip through or talk to matches spelled out clearly.
Why it’s awesome: When you think of eharmony, you probably think of marriage. And so does everyone else — that’s the point. The fact that it accounts for 4% of marriages in the US (as of 2018) speaks for itself. Putting the best, most honest picture of yourself out there requires some real introspection when taking the compatibility quiz and answering the open-ended questions, but that’s the whole reason people sign up for eharmony over Zoosk.
Perhaps you’ve noticed a logo change in the past few years: A measure to ensure that its established, decades-old name didn’t get lost in the sea of new dating apps, eharmony’s new logo is a heart with a colorful palette that represents the site’s 32 dimensions of compatibility. These range from agreeableness (how warm and considerate you are) to altruism (how much you’re willing to help others), all judged by how you answer hypothetical questions where the “correct” answer isn’t obvious. The questionnaire has also been trimmed of the uselessly mushy questions about soulmates and self-ranking questions about honesty that are way too exaggerated. Instead of the deep questions that only look good on paper, eharmony’s dive into how you’d act in a relationship is more realistic and tangible. Remember to be honest: Admitting that you’re not as mature in a certain area is key to eharmony matching you with someone who complements you.
The identity change was also accompanied by a new UX design for the app — a must for any dating site looking to attract users under 30. The interface is less jumbled than it was was a few years ago, with different ways to flip through or talk to matches spelled out clearly.
Easy and instantaneous • Extra fun during traveling • Massive user base regardless of where you are • People looking for hookups will probably say so in their bio
Next to no filters • No actual matchmaking algorithm • Amount of swiping is begging for carpal tunnel syndrome • People have no chill with bad pickup lines
The OG swiping app where you’ll find everyone you know, a ton who you don’t know, and a date in under 10 minutes.
Tinder
The swiping app we’ve all used at least once where you should be able to find a date within the hour.-
Free version:
Yes -
One month of Tinder Plus:
$14.99/month -
Six months of Tinder Plus:
$10/month -
One year of Tinder Plus:
$6.67/month
Who it’s for: Literally everyone.
Why it’s awesome: Let’s just get this one out of the way. If you’re thinking of dating apps, you’re thinking of Tinder. They pioneered the now-ubiquitous swiping function, revolutionizing the world of online dating and boasting 1.6 billion swipes per day. What started out as strictly a hookup app has turned into one of the biggest matchmakers in the world. As you’re served a series of photos, swipe right if you like what you see and left if you don’t. When you both indicate interest in each other, you’ll get a notification that it’s a match. I mean, “Tindering” is just as much of a verb as swiping at this point.
Tinder may not want to advertise as such, but we all know what it’s mostly used for. You’re quite literally deciding if you want to interact with someone based on nothing but profile pictures and a quote from The Office, so yeah, you can see how getting laid would be the main goal of most users — but hey, we all know those couples who met on Tinder and have been together for years. It’s fast, easy, and if there’s one app that even the shyest, most skeptical people will be on, it’s Tinder. Hell, even celebrities can now have verified profiles on there (meaning yes, you could match with one of the Hollywood Chrises if you’re really lucky).
It’s free for general use, but Tinder does offer two upgrades: Tinder Plus and Tinder Gold. These include extras like undoing a left swipe (bless), send “Super Likes” to people you’re really into, and in the case of Tinder Gold, see which users have liked your profile.
Why it’s awesome: Let’s just get this one out of the way. If you’re thinking of dating apps, you’re thinking of Tinder. They pioneered the now-ubiquitous swiping function, revolutionizing the world of online dating and boasting 1.6 billion swipes per day. What started out as strictly a hookup app has turned into one of the biggest matchmakers in the world. As you’re served a series of photos, swipe right if you like what you see and left if you don’t. When you both indicate interest in each other, you’ll get a notification that it’s a match. I mean, “Tindering” is just as much of a verb as swiping at this point.
Tinder may not want to advertise as such, but we all know what it’s mostly used for. You’re quite literally deciding if you want to interact with someone based on nothing but profile pictures and a quote from The Office, so yeah, you can see how getting laid would be the main goal of most users — but hey, we all know those couples who met on Tinder and have been together for years. It’s fast, easy, and if there’s one app that even the shyest, most skeptical people will be on, it’s Tinder. Hell, even celebrities can now have verified profiles on there (meaning yes, you could match with one of the Hollywood Chrises if you’re really lucky).
It’s free for general use, but Tinder does offer two upgrades: Tinder Plus and Tinder Gold. These include extras like undoing a left swipe (bless), send “Super Likes” to people you’re really into, and in the case of Tinder Gold, see which users have liked your profile.
No fancy algorithm, no mushy messages, no waiting • Artsy design and modern layout • Everything is deleted after 24 hours • Stellar reviews in the App Store • Actually has a dependable desktop version
Possible catfish risk • Have to re-upload photos and re-type bios constantly • Price point is a bit high for access to such a small user base • Definitely won’t be useful in less-populated areas
Self-proclaimed “the hookup app,” the success of this hipster Snapchat for sex depends on the day.
Pure
The least obnoxious (and most hipster) hookup app guarantees anonymous booty calls, but needs more people.-
Free version:
Yes -
One week:
$14.99 -
One month:
$29.99
Who it’s for: People who just want to get laid without the “What are we?” question being popped and people who wouldn’t be caught dead on a site like AdultFriendFinder.
Why it’s awesome: Think Pure as in a purely physical experience. This is the place to find a local booty call who won’t try to text you earlier than midnight. App rules urge you to “pretend like you’re strangers afterwards,” making no-strings-attached the only name of the game here. This hella millennial app is a sex-positive, 18+ safe space that features some pretty cool art — the blueprint of the truly modern hookup app. Just be sure to communicate your boundaries in your bio.
Your selfies, bio, conversations, matches, and likes self destruct every 24 hours, promoting spur-of-the-moment, borderline anonymous hookups. No nudity is allowed in your albums and any photos sent in messages can’t be saved. (As the dry-humored comics on their website state, “Don’t talk about your problems. Problems are for therapists. Pure is for fun.”) The app will ask for your phone number, but that’s just to make sure you’re a real person. The app uses your geolocation and sends out the sex version of an Uber request, though the sparse user base might have your searches suggesting the same few people.
PURE gives all the feels of a sex-based site without the obnoxious naked parts and porn ads everywhere. (Cough *AdultFriendFinder* cough) Running into bots and people trying to make money is likely, but the spammy stuff isn’t nearly as rampant as traditional hookup sites.
Why it’s awesome: Think Pure as in a purely physical experience. This is the place to find a local booty call who won’t try to text you earlier than midnight. App rules urge you to “pretend like you’re strangers afterwards,” making no-strings-attached the only name of the game here. This hella millennial app is a sex-positive, 18+ safe space that features some pretty cool art — the blueprint of the truly modern hookup app. Just be sure to communicate your boundaries in your bio.
Your selfies, bio, conversations, matches, and likes self destruct every 24 hours, promoting spur-of-the-moment, borderline anonymous hookups. No nudity is allowed in your albums and any photos sent in messages can’t be saved. (As the dry-humored comics on their website state, “Don’t talk about your problems. Problems are for therapists. Pure is for fun.”) The app will ask for your phone number, but that’s just to make sure you’re a real person. The app uses your geolocation and sends out the sex version of an Uber request, though the sparse user base might have your searches suggesting the same few people.
PURE gives all the feels of a sex-based site without the obnoxious naked parts and porn ads everywhere. (Cough *AdultFriendFinder* cough) Running into bots and people trying to make money is likely, but the spammy stuff isn’t nearly as rampant as traditional hookup sites.
No unsolicited creepy messages from dudes • Eliminates “dead” matches • Women in charge
Only two gender options • 24 hours might be too short
With women making the first move and matches expiring after 24 hours, Bumble gets things moving by making you consider matches more seriously.
Bumble
Women are required to make the first move with this app, making it great for shy dudes.-
Free version:
Yes -
One week of Boost:
$8.99/week -
One month of Boost:
$24.99/month -
Three months of Boost:
$16.66/month -
Six months of Boost:
$13.33/month
Who it’s for: Bold ladies who like to make the first move (or ladies who are just tired of guys thinking nasty pick-up lines are good opening messages).
Why it’s awesome: It’s the dating app version of the Sadie Hawkins dance, created by ex-Tinder employees (ooh, drama). In an attempt to correct one of the common complaints of dating apps — that women get spammed with tons of creepy messages — women are required to message first with Bumble. It pushes some women out of their comfort zone, but it’s a nice change of pace. And if you don’t message, you could possibly be un-matching with the love of your life, and that’s way worse than being ignored. It also takes the pressure off of dudes who feel like they need to start the conversation every time. (We knew you were gonna ask, so yes, with same-sex matches either party can start things off.) Matches expire after 24 hours so you can’t agonize over that opening line for too long, and your match list won’t be filled with people you forgot you matched with 57 weeks ago. This tactic is apparently working, as Bumble’s founder claims that 60% of matches result in a conversation.
Setup is basic: You’ll see pictures and short bios of potential matches in your area and can swipe right if you’re interested and left if you’re not. It’s a pretty close mock of Tinder, except for the fact that Bumble relieves the anxiety of accidentally swiping left on a hottie by letting you backtrack. Bumble also offers a BFF feature to find strictly platonic friends and a LinkedIn-ish networking feature called Bizz in attempts to remind everyone that it’s not just a hookup app.
Bumble is free but also offers Bumble Boost for extra features, including rematching an expired match. Sign up here.
Why it’s awesome: It’s the dating app version of the Sadie Hawkins dance, created by ex-Tinder employees (ooh, drama). In an attempt to correct one of the common complaints of dating apps — that women get spammed with tons of creepy messages — women are required to message first with Bumble. It pushes some women out of their comfort zone, but it’s a nice change of pace. And if you don’t message, you could possibly be un-matching with the love of your life, and that’s way worse than being ignored. It also takes the pressure off of dudes who feel like they need to start the conversation every time. (We knew you were gonna ask, so yes, with same-sex matches either party can start things off.) Matches expire after 24 hours so you can’t agonize over that opening line for too long, and your match list won’t be filled with people you forgot you matched with 57 weeks ago. This tactic is apparently working, as Bumble’s founder claims that 60% of matches result in a conversation.
Setup is basic: You’ll see pictures and short bios of potential matches in your area and can swipe right if you’re interested and left if you’re not. It’s a pretty close mock of Tinder, except for the fact that Bumble relieves the anxiety of accidentally swiping left on a hottie by letting you backtrack. Bumble also offers a BFF feature to find strictly platonic friends and a LinkedIn-ish networking feature called Bizz in attempts to remind everyone that it’s not just a hookup app.
Bumble is free but also offers Bumble Boost for extra features, including rematching an expired match. Sign up here.
App for queer women without shadow of highly-sexualized male fantasies • Social media-like feed for local LGBTQ+ community involvement • Niche corners like “newly out,” “in a relationship,” and “travelers” • Minimalistic aesthetics are very on-brand for a young crowd
Full of users complaining about being single • User base can’t compare to Tinder • Too many unverified profiles and catfishes
HER is a rapidly-growing space for queer women to make real connections while avoiding unicorn hunters.
HER
Avoid creeps and fetishization on this queer women-only app that aims to be a safe space and a matchmaker.-
Free version:
Yes -
One month of Premium:
$14.99 -
Six months of Premium:
$11.99/month -
One year of Premium:
$7.49/month
Who it’s for: Women seeking women who have had trash experiences on heteronormative apps.
Why it’s awesome: Between creepy men pretending to be women, creepy men thinking you want to know about their lesbian fetish, and straight girls looking for another girl to have a threesome with her and her boyfriend, most heteronormative dating sites don’t give bi women a great shot at finding a relationship. HER, an award-winning app made for queer women by queer women, is the perfect place to go if you’re tired of the only lesbian you know being your ex girlfriend.
As the user base of over four million grows at an impressive pace (especially in large cities), HER could help you widen your dating pool beyond the people you already know IRL. In summer 2019, HER revamped its minimalistic profiles to let users get more creative in categories like gender, sexuality, pronouns, diet preferences (like veganism), and star signs, as well as a “What does this mean?” field in the sex, gender, and pronoun categories to create more well-rounded understanding of identity. There’s also a space for a text bio where you can showcase your sense of humor and describe what type of relationship you’re looking for.
But HER goes way past being a hookup app — that is, without adding pressure to find a romantic partner. While it can be used to couple up and find local matches that you never knew existed, you can also get involved in local LGBTQ events, read LGBTQ news, and make friends through its social-media like feed.
You don’t see that often, and if you do, it’s some highly sexualized fantasy thing for guys to drool over.
Why it’s awesome: Between creepy men pretending to be women, creepy men thinking you want to know about their lesbian fetish, and straight girls looking for another girl to have a threesome with her and her boyfriend, most heteronormative dating sites don’t give bi women a great shot at finding a relationship. HER, an award-winning app made for queer women by queer women, is the perfect place to go if you’re tired of the only lesbian you know being your ex girlfriend.
As the user base of over four million grows at an impressive pace (especially in large cities), HER could help you widen your dating pool beyond the people you already know IRL. In summer 2019, HER revamped its minimalistic profiles to let users get more creative in categories like gender, sexuality, pronouns, diet preferences (like veganism), and star signs, as well as a “What does this mean?” field in the sex, gender, and pronoun categories to create more well-rounded understanding of identity. There’s also a space for a text bio where you can showcase your sense of humor and describe what type of relationship you’re looking for.
But HER goes way past being a hookup app — that is, without adding pressure to find a romantic partner. While it can be used to couple up and find local matches that you never knew existed, you can also get involved in local LGBTQ events, read LGBTQ news, and make friends through its social-media like feed.
You don’t see that often, and if you do, it’s some highly sexualized fantasy thing for guys to drool over.
Users cut to the chase • Can find a date within the hour • Grindr for Equality campaign advocates for sexual health and safety of LGBTQ+ people in unsafe countries
Bots and performance issues • Level of NSFW is jarring • Reports of data breaches • Reports of biphobia and hate toward queer women on the app
A great option for gay men that ditches the small talk and has tons of potential matches online 24/7.
Grindr
Putting “bi” in your profile might get you some hate here, but it’s also a place to meet experienced men.-
Free version:
Yes -
One month of Grindr XTRA:
$14.99/month -
Three months of Grindr XTRA:
$10/month -
Six months of Grindr XTRA:
$8.50/month -
Twelve months of Grindr XTRA:
$6.50/month
Who it’s for: Men seeking men. It’s the ideal gay paradise if you’re tired of Tinder or Bumble throwing women into your pool when you specifically opted out, and a place for bisexual men to experiment with a bigger user base.
Why it’s awesome: Grindr has been the go-to for gay and bi men since 2009, and that’s because finding someone to talk to is damn near instantaneous. Instead of swiping right or left to match, you’ll get a borderline-infinite collage of people who are close location-wise. Aside from it being overwhelming and slightly frightening, it’s obvious that there are a ton of men out there waiting for a conversation. Most users just looking to hook up will let you know right off that they’re not trying to make small talk, and that warning may come in the form of a dick pic.
That’s not to say it’s not for relationships — a lot of men meet their forever person on Grindr — but on the surface, it’s a tool for quick, casual encounters. However, men in small towns with a meager queer population are much more likely to find a connection here than on Tinder or OkCupid.
The main complaint from bisexual people about Grindr isn’t the aggressive horniness. It’s the biphobia — toward men and the few women who dare to try their hand on the app, which is technically advertised toward the whole LGBTQ community. This thread of Reddit users shared their experiences, describing the disappointment in not feeling supported by their community with messages like “vaginas are gross” at the first mention of being anything that’s not strictly gay-man-oriented.
Why it’s awesome: Grindr has been the go-to for gay and bi men since 2009, and that’s because finding someone to talk to is damn near instantaneous. Instead of swiping right or left to match, you’ll get a borderline-infinite collage of people who are close location-wise. Aside from it being overwhelming and slightly frightening, it’s obvious that there are a ton of men out there waiting for a conversation. Most users just looking to hook up will let you know right off that they’re not trying to make small talk, and that warning may come in the form of a dick pic.
That’s not to say it’s not for relationships — a lot of men meet their forever person on Grindr — but on the surface, it’s a tool for quick, casual encounters. However, men in small towns with a meager queer population are much more likely to find a connection here than on Tinder or OkCupid.
The main complaint from bisexual people about Grindr isn’t the aggressive horniness. It’s the biphobia — toward men and the few women who dare to try their hand on the app, which is technically advertised toward the whole LGBTQ community. This thread of Reddit users shared their experiences, describing the disappointment in not feeling supported by their community with messages like “vaginas are gross” at the first mention of being anything that’s not strictly gay-man-oriented.
No creepy first messages • Different crowd than Tinder or Hinge • Limited, curated matches instead of endless swiping • Can get a lot of real dates out of it
Small user base and recycling of profiles • Kind of expensive for the bland features it offers • Not great in small towns
With only a handful of curated matches a day, you’re forced to really consider who you want to meet IRL.
Coffee Meets Bagel
Skip the constant inbox notifications with CMB’s smaller user base and matches that the woman has already OK’d.-
Free version:
Yes -
One month of premium:
$34.99 -
Three months of Premium:
$24.99/month -
Six months of Premium:
$19.99/month -
One year of Premium:
$14.99/month
Who it’s for: Singles who want a more curated dating app experience without giving up the low pressure of a modern app. Also, women who are tired of only getting messages from people they haven’t liked back.
Why it’s awesome: Grabbing coffee is the low-pressure date idea that lets you skip trying to choose a dressy-but-not-too-extra outfit for a concert or a restaurant. Coffee Meets Bagel is like the “grabbing coffee” version of dating apps, aiming to bring an easygoing atmosphere to folks who might just be a little rusty. The now-successful Shark Tank bust is one of those rare dating apps that focuses on the woman’s experience and actually gets decent feedback on Reddit. Every profile shown to men has already been okay-ed by the women, so the chance of getting unsolicited messages from creepy guys (or the worry of being seen as a creepy guy) is significantly drained.
Each day, you’ll receive anywhere from five to 21 matches depending on whether you’re a man or a woman and whether you’re a premium member. These bagels are curated by the algorithm based on your preferences as well as the bagels you weren’t hungry for in the days prior. CMB wants you to “spend your time on quality matches” instead of swiping endlessly, and you’re only talking to people who you know also clicked on you.
If there’s a match, CMB will set up both profiles in a private chat and will ask a “personalized icebreaker” question. Pressure to think of something witty to open with is minimized. Per the site’s own survey, 86% of users are looking for a serious relationship.
Why it’s awesome: Grabbing coffee is the low-pressure date idea that lets you skip trying to choose a dressy-but-not-too-extra outfit for a concert or a restaurant. Coffee Meets Bagel is like the “grabbing coffee” version of dating apps, aiming to bring an easygoing atmosphere to folks who might just be a little rusty. The now-successful Shark Tank bust is one of those rare dating apps that focuses on the woman’s experience and actually gets decent feedback on Reddit. Every profile shown to men has already been okay-ed by the women, so the chance of getting unsolicited messages from creepy guys (or the worry of being seen as a creepy guy) is significantly drained.
Each day, you’ll receive anywhere from five to 21 matches depending on whether you’re a man or a woman and whether you’re a premium member. These bagels are curated by the algorithm based on your preferences as well as the bagels you weren’t hungry for in the days prior. CMB wants you to “spend your time on quality matches” instead of swiping endlessly, and you’re only talking to people who you know also clicked on you.
If there’s a match, CMB will set up both profiles in a private chat and will ask a “personalized icebreaker” question. Pressure to think of something witty to open with is minimized. Per the site’s own survey, 86% of users are looking for a serious relationship.
Queer users can opt out of seeing or being seen by straight people • Great tool to make friends, too • Can see the birth chart of every potential match • Less rigid than Bumble’s sun sign filtering • Many pronoun and sexuality options
Crashes too often • Login/password issues
Tired of haggling your date about their birth time? NUiT has already compiled their whole birth chart.
NUiT
A magical app that takes care of asking for someone’s birth time, plus a truly special feature for queer people.-
Free version:
Yes
Who it’s for: People who never fail to ask their date for their birth time and queer people who don’t want to see straight people in their dating pool.
Why it’s awesome: Remember when Bumble announced it would let users filter matches by their zodiac sign? NUiT is the better version of that. The creators at NUiT know that, for many, birth charts can be a wildly helpful tool in maneuvering the dating world by predicting how well you’d mesh with someone in aspects like the importance of sex or argument stye. NUiT also accounts for the nuances in different combinations of placements and houses outside of sun signs. It encourages daters to check astrological compatibility and use insights to understand why a match might act the way they do, but does so while avoiding overly-simplistic “What fried food you are based on your zodiac sign” energy that clickbait quizzes have. People who study astrology will be the first to tell you that astrology is a cosmic guide to behaviors, but it isn’t tell-all as to how good of a partner or friend someone will be.
Creators also recognized another thing that turns queer users off to heteronormative dating apps: They don’t want to see or be seen by straight people. Sure, Tinder and OkCupid have their share of well-meaning allies — but the lack of shared experience as a queer person can make or break a relationship’s dynamic. Such a feature has been a long time coming as dating apps increase focus on inclusivity, and people on Twitter are pretty psyched about it.
Why it’s awesome: Remember when Bumble announced it would let users filter matches by their zodiac sign? NUiT is the better version of that. The creators at NUiT know that, for many, birth charts can be a wildly helpful tool in maneuvering the dating world by predicting how well you’d mesh with someone in aspects like the importance of sex or argument stye. NUiT also accounts for the nuances in different combinations of placements and houses outside of sun signs. It encourages daters to check astrological compatibility and use insights to understand why a match might act the way they do, but does so while avoiding overly-simplistic “What fried food you are based on your zodiac sign” energy that clickbait quizzes have. People who study astrology will be the first to tell you that astrology is a cosmic guide to behaviors, but it isn’t tell-all as to how good of a partner or friend someone will be.
Creators also recognized another thing that turns queer users off to heteronormative dating apps: They don’t want to see or be seen by straight people. Sure, Tinder and OkCupid have their share of well-meaning allies — but the lack of shared experience as a queer person can make or break a relationship’s dynamic. Such a feature has been a long time coming as dating apps increase focus on inclusivity, and people on Twitter are pretty psyched about it.
Way faster sign-up than competitors • Anecdotes from successful couples are promising • Easy and quick with a mature use base
Tons of dead profiles • Annoying notifications • Way too expensive for the blandness and lack of depth
Striking up a convo is easy in this low-pressure atmosphere, but it feels deserted.
Zoosk
A full-scale dating site that puts you in control over an algorithm, though half of your matches may be bots.-
Free version:
Yes -
One month of paid:
$29.95/month -
Three months of paid:
$19.98/month -
Six months of paid:
$12.49/month
Who it’s for: Singles who are tired of the young, potentially immature crowd on mainstream swiping apps but who aren’t ready to join the ranks of Match or eharmony.
Why it’s awesome: Awesome is a loose term here. With such little focus on details past physique or distance, it’s natural to question how the site builds any real foundations. But, surprisingly, something Zoosk is doing is working. The site keeps a meticulously-updated list of couples who met through the site with cute photos and anecdotes, plus news of new engagements and marriages as recently as June 2020.
Regardless of the zombie land of dead-end profiles and somewhat boring design, some 35 million people like Zoosk because it’s easy. There are no long questionnaires required to build your profile and you have free reign of how to go about approaching matches.
When Zoosk switched from a social media app to a legit dating site, it was more or less in a league of its own. Incorporating “liking” photos and having a similar look as a Facebook feed was super attractive to young, single people… in the early 2000s. The problem is that Zoosk hasn’t changed much since then. The lack of modern tweaks like OkCupid’s politics-related ice breakers or Match’s overhauled questionnaire make its blandness even more obvious. People are simply opting for Match Group’s offerings with more premium designs, less messy email notifications, and algorithms that take your personality type into account.
Why it’s awesome: Awesome is a loose term here. With such little focus on details past physique or distance, it’s natural to question how the site builds any real foundations. But, surprisingly, something Zoosk is doing is working. The site keeps a meticulously-updated list of couples who met through the site with cute photos and anecdotes, plus news of new engagements and marriages as recently as June 2020.
Regardless of the zombie land of dead-end profiles and somewhat boring design, some 35 million people like Zoosk because it’s easy. There are no long questionnaires required to build your profile and you have free reign of how to go about approaching matches.
When Zoosk switched from a social media app to a legit dating site, it was more or less in a league of its own. Incorporating “liking” photos and having a similar look as a Facebook feed was super attractive to young, single people… in the early 2000s. The problem is that Zoosk hasn’t changed much since then. The lack of modern tweaks like OkCupid’s politics-related ice breakers or Match’s overhauled questionnaire make its blandness even more obvious. People are simply opting for Match Group’s offerings with more premium designs, less messy email notifications, and algorithms that take your personality type into account.
Algorithms from experts at Match • Great for people who hate dating apps • Can help you avoid going back to the same type • Groups of friends can collaborate before sending a match
Some design kinks • Only available on iOS • No support for non-binary users • Friends can’t talk to matches for you
An app for blind dates is one of the coolest concepts as of late, but Ship is still waiting for its big break.
Ship
Where single people with dating app burnout can get their friends to make matches for them.-
Free version:
Yes
Who it’s for: People whose friends hate their exes or are always begging to set them. Alternatively, people who are already taken can get their fix of swiping exhilaration by playing wingman for their single friends.
Why it’s awesome: Maybe your inability to pick out red flags has you gagging at the thought of re-downloading a swiping app. Maybe you don’t have the time or energy to scope out a new potential S.O. Maybe your friends just really hate your ex. Ship is the modern take on having your friend act as a wingman or wingwoman at the bar, but using swiping instead of an awkward “My friend thinks you’re hot.” The coolest part is that your friend doesn’t have to pose as you while swiping — the whole premise is to get “your Crew” involved in the process.
App-ifying blind dates is a hella fun concept, and is probably much-needed in a time when so many dating apps can cause burnout. (You may be too fresh out of a relationship to put effort into a dating app, but you’ll gladly stay up until 1 a.m. to find a date for your pal.) However, the idea of matching with someone’s friend might take a while for the mainstream crowd to get behind — especially when friends can’t talk to matches to feel out their intentions or sense of humor before setting the two up.
Why it’s awesome: Maybe your inability to pick out red flags has you gagging at the thought of re-downloading a swiping app. Maybe you don’t have the time or energy to scope out a new potential S.O. Maybe your friends just really hate your ex. Ship is the modern take on having your friend act as a wingman or wingwoman at the bar, but using swiping instead of an awkward “My friend thinks you’re hot.” The coolest part is that your friend doesn’t have to pose as you while swiping — the whole premise is to get “your Crew” involved in the process.
App-ifying blind dates is a hella fun concept, and is probably much-needed in a time when so many dating apps can cause burnout. (You may be too fresh out of a relationship to put effort into a dating app, but you’ll gladly stay up until 1 a.m. to find a date for your pal.) However, the idea of matching with someone’s friend might take a while for the mainstream crowd to get behind — especially when friends can’t talk to matches to feel out their intentions or sense of humor before setting the two up.
Great for people too shy to approach someone in public • Points out people you never knew existed • No long distance • No messages from non-matches
Only fun in populated areas • Not super helpful during social distancing • App has a lot of bugs • Reviews have gone downhill in 2020
You’re basically alerted any time a hottie is nearby, upping your chance for that serendipitous love story to actually happen.
Happn
If you loved the movie “Serendipity” or dream of having your own Missed Connection, then this is the app for you.-
Free version:
Yes -
One month of paid:
$20/month -
Three months of paid:
$16/month -
Six months of paid:
$12/month
Who it’s for: People constantly falling in love with strangers on the street who then spend hours scouring the Missed Connections section of Craigslist.
Why it’s awesome: Everyone would love for the story of how they met their person to be something serendipitous and crazy, like meeting your husband in the Starbucks line — but let’s be real, the chances of that happening completely on its own aren’t great. Happn acts as a wingman that steps in and introduces two strangers by alerting app users of cuties who are physically close by in real time. AskMen’s review said it best: “Happn formulates a happy medium between algorithmic online dating and chance encounters.”
If someone catches your eye, Happn can show you where your last encounter was or help you match with them to make sure you don’t lose them forever. Perfect for rom com enthusiasts or for anyone who likes to ogle hotties on public transportation and who’s secretly hoping they might be doing the same. (No, really — one of my friends literally watched a guy next to her on the train “like” her on Happn. It’s a thing.) If anything, it’s a chance to decrease your number of missed opportunities in public when you get too shy to speak up.
Why it’s awesome: Everyone would love for the story of how they met their person to be something serendipitous and crazy, like meeting your husband in the Starbucks line — but let’s be real, the chances of that happening completely on its own aren’t great. Happn acts as a wingman that steps in and introduces two strangers by alerting app users of cuties who are physically close by in real time. AskMen’s review said it best: “Happn formulates a happy medium between algorithmic online dating and chance encounters.”
If someone catches your eye, Happn can show you where your last encounter was or help you match with them to make sure you don’t lose them forever. Perfect for rom com enthusiasts or for anyone who likes to ogle hotties on public transportation and who’s secretly hoping they might be doing the same. (No, really — one of my friends literally watched a guy next to her on the train “like” her on Happn. It’s a thing.) If anything, it’s a chance to decrease your number of missed opportunities in public when you get too shy to speak up.
Stick with the desktop version
Massive user base (in the U.S. and globally) • Chemistry questionnaires are actually decent • Tons of ways to interact • LGBTQ+ and poly friendly
Desktop version and app are buggy and outdated • Entire site looks like a virus-ridden porn ad • Best features get pricey
If you can get past the fact that it looks like an ad for a deserted strip club, you won’t leave unsatisfied.
AdultFriendFinder
Millions of down-for-anything users make AFF great for finding a fling, but it’s as sketchy as it is sexy.-
Free version:
Yes -
One month:
$39.95 -
Three months:
$26.95/month -
One year:
$19.95/month
AdultFriendFinder is our pick for the best hookup site, and that’s because it’s literally impossible to walk away unsatisfied. Though a lot of young people use Tinder to find casual sex, AFF is more… mature — like a Pornhub that you can actually interact with. Regardless of whether you’re looking for an in-person hookup or to blow off some steam via sexting or raunchy videos, AFF has everything that your dirty mind can think of and more. Almost nothing is blurred out (you see everything), but if you don’t mind that the entire thing looks like a sketchy “There are hot singles in your area” ad, you’ll be in heaven.
With 20-something million monthly users as well as live video options, chat rooms, groups for ultra specific kinks, and more, you can probably assume how wild this site can get. But there’s such a large and diverse group of potential matches, you’re very likely to find other like-minded people, which does wonders when all you want to do is connect with someone who’s on the same page as you. The part that you wouldn’t expect is the fact that they do offer tons of compatibility questions and matchmaking services, because they’re that intent on finding you a good lay.
Another bonus is that AdultFriendFinder is like the dating site version of New York City — it never sleeps. You’ll find people who work the regular 9-5, people who work the night shift, and people in other time zones, so it’s nearly impossible to log on and not have people to talk to. AdultFriendFinder is like the booty call that’s always awake when you text them.
With 20-something million monthly users as well as live video options, chat rooms, groups for ultra specific kinks, and more, you can probably assume how wild this site can get. But there’s such a large and diverse group of potential matches, you’re very likely to find other like-minded people, which does wonders when all you want to do is connect with someone who’s on the same page as you. The part that you wouldn’t expect is the fact that they do offer tons of compatibility questions and matchmaking services, because they’re that intent on finding you a good lay.
Another bonus is that AdultFriendFinder is like the dating site version of New York City — it never sleeps. You’ll find people who work the regular 9-5, people who work the night shift, and people in other time zones, so it’s nearly impossible to log on and not have people to talk to. AdultFriendFinder is like the booty call that’s always awake when you text them.