The National Dog Show was a much smaller affair than usual this year. Due to the coronavirus pandemic, fewer than 600 dogs competed for the honour of top dog — down from almost 2000 in 2019. There were no spectators either, with only officials, handlers, security personnel and NBC’s film crew were allowed inside the Greater Philadelphia Expo Center.

But the dog show must go on, and the Kennel Club of Philadelphia made the best of a rough situation. In the absence of living spectators, the stadium’s seats were instead filled with cardboard cutouts of humans and dogs alike. Most were dogs though, with notable attendees including Captain Raymond Holt and Cheddar of Brooklyn Nine-Nine fame.

Fortunately, due to the aforementioned film crew, three-dimensional dog enthusiasts weren’t left completely out in the cold. While the National Dog Show took place over a week ago on Nov. 14-15, NBC upheld its tradition of airing the pooch parade on Thanksgiving Day, letting Americans gaze upon the good boys and girls no matter where they are.

While the average person assesses dogs as “good” or “very good,” the National Dog Show divides them into seven categories: Herding, Hound, Non-Sporting, Sporting, Terrier, Toy and Working. Judges imagine the best, most perfect dog they can think of for each breed, then evaluate the contestants against this dream dog in order to determine its score

Sadly, they don’t seem to understand that the scrawniest, scruffiest real dog will always far outstrip the most noble fantasy one.

The National Dog Show also hasn’t fixed its glaring issue of only awarding one canine Best in Show. This year’s title went to Claire, a 3-year-old Scottish Deerhound also known as GCH Foxcliffe Claire Randall Fraser, and winner of the Hound category.

“Claire has so many wonderful traits,” said Claire’s handler Angela Lloyd. “She embodies the same qualities [as her mother and grandmother, who have also placed at dog shows]. She is very similar to her grandmother, especially in the eyes.”

You ain't nothing but a Bloodhound dog.

You ain’t nothing but a Bloodhound dog.

Image: Bill Mccay / NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images

This Bull Terrier looks like he'd listen to all your worries, not understand a word, but give you comforting kisses anyway.

This Bull Terrier looks like he’d listen to all your worries, not understand a word, but give you comforting kisses anyway.

Image: Bill McCay / NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images

Chances are this Collie has better hair than you.

Chances are this Collie has better hair than you.

Image: Bill McCay / NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images

This Chesapeake Bay Retriever could ask for my last chip and I'd probably give it to them.

This Chesapeake Bay Retriever could ask for my last chip and I’d probably give it to them.

Image: Bill McCay / NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images

This Bearded Collie was somehow not disqualified for just being a cloud with legs.

This Bearded Collie was somehow not disqualified for just being a cloud with legs.

Image: Bill McCay / NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images

Find someone who looks at you the way this Airedale Terrier looks at their handler.

Find someone who looks at you the way this Airedale Terrier looks at their handler.

Image: Bill McCay / NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images

This Shih Tzu's ready for their close up.

This Shih Tzu’s ready for their close up.

Image: Bill McCay / NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images

A Dandie Dinmont Terrier getting the attention they deserve.

A Dandie Dinmont Terrier getting the attention they deserve.

Image: Bill McCay / NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images

If a dog sits at a dog show but there is no-one there to see him, is he still a good boy? 

Yes. Yes, he is.

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